aesmael | Entries tagged with driving around

2019-01-01
The thing about Julia Wolfe's "Lad" is it may be the first time I've really enjoyed a piece written for bagpipe. I'm not someone to cringe and theatrically dismay at the sound of bagpipes, but they hadn't really clicked with me either as something which sounds amazing or beautiful.

2019-01-04
It was probably 2017 that I started playing my "current" game of Angband. I've hardly played it at all - not at all for the past year I think - because I decided I wanted to stream it and show how that version worked before switching to the more adventurously experimental versions then and currently in development. Unfortunately I also switched back to Windows sometime then and, in Windows, OBS seems unable to capture all of Angband's sub-windows without capturing the entire screen, which means having to take great care not to accidentally leak any unwanted personal information of myself or anyone I communicate with that could potentially be displayed. It proves to be a big enough obstacle that I effectively have ceased playing altogether.

Therefore I have concluded that particular commitment must be done away with. I shall finish that game to death or victory, and any game I do stream will most likely be played at the public server at http://angband.live/

What happens this week? Bought a new PS3 controller as the old one seems to have quit working. The new one refuses to connect however, so we don't seem to be better off.

2019-01-10
Today I baked a lime meringue pie, taking a recipe for lemon and making a simple substitution. Not yet has it been tasted, although it ought to be delicious.

Today I learned someone must have hit my car while it was parked, most likely last night while I was purchasing ingredients for the pie I baked today. The rear left corner was scratched up and streaked with blue paint, possibly dented. Disheartening as my last car was wrecked by someone driving into me and striking the same location. I feel superstitiously afraid this one's days are likewise numbered.

Today I mapped out the basic location-concepts for the quest path for Star Wars: The Lost Heart. I want to develop those into enough detail that I know what their mysteries are and who are their major players, factions and tendencies so that I'll be able to bring them to life if and when we get there, but not to go so much detail that I already have the whole story written to force people into. Similarly with the state of the galaxy at time zero and what other major figures or points of interest have a good chance of coming up - or being available to pull out of a hat if I suddenly need them. Essentially two sets of landmarks, one for The Galaxy Now and one for The Quest As Intended. Then I can feel relatively confident at letting players loose without having to make quite everything up on the spot.

Or so I imagine.

Inventing is actually hard for me, I think. Or inventing the satisfying right thing of story. This is my supposition for why I write so slowly, for I feel I can at times quite readily toss off some broad idea which feels quite exciting, but to follow through with invention in details is quite laborious. I like to think that practice will make this easier, or perhaps to create an outline from which to work so that when it comes to the writing I am only filling in the details of how it happened, having previously resolved the tricky questions of what and why.

Now, writing as in journaling. That is mostly difficult in terms of remembering to do so. And remembering what has happened in order to write it down. And especially in doing my journaling later at night when, yes, the day has mostly happened to be written about in retrospect but also when I am feeling quite sleepy and actually transferring the text from journal-local to journal-webbed feels an obstacle not worth the effort of surmounting.

So, will these words be retrospectively published in the morning? Tune in to find out.

Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Assorted tracks by Frederick Delius

Looks like all the bad things waited to pile up today.

Got up early, or rather, did not sleep in, to get my car serviced. Difficult to stay unconscious all the way to my alarm as the cat my sister and her boyfriend adopted and then abandoned here this month is not a fan of folk sleeping past 05:00 when they could be feeding her. I ended up waiting in their office for three hours instead of taking a shuttle (no Christmas shopping as such to do - all I wanted was groceries, which did not seem likely to keep until the car was ready). pet's being sick so lots of worry and wanting to comfort, although we're sure it is short-duration. Doesn't make it any more fun.

Finished reading Power Girl: Power Trip pretty quickly (so ought to write down my thoughts on that while they're still fresh). Listened to part of spotify's 'composer weekly' on Julia Wolfe, noting down some works to explore later ("Dark Full Ride" and "Into the Clouds" stood out so far), and reading some of the GameMastery Guide.

Found out a friend is getting abruptly booted out of home by their long-term partner so lots of sympathetic distress and concern. And, too far away to be much of any help either. Fortunately there are others who can but still, lots worry. I don't think this will end in homelessness but it's still going to be extremely life-destructive, not even counting the emotional devastation.

Until I got back in the car I wasn't sure whether I would go directly home or get groceries first. Groceries proved to be a mistake, much later, when I got home and discovered the lid had been knocked loose on my water bottle and leaked through my bag. All seemed fine except the Power Girl comic I borrowed from work. I've done my best to dry it out while hiding from a hostile family aura for not letting in their dog when a storm suddenly arose and then disappeared. I worry I wasn't quick or thorough enough - shouldn't be hiding.

Things are not good.

Current Mood: apathetic
Current Music: that silence which might be tinnitus

Today has been 2015-08-20 and it feels a long way from the 10th. On the 10th I had two assignments due, one of which I got done and submitted that morning. Also that morning, a call from the municipal council's HR about the job I had interviewd for the week before - references from my current position were unacceptable due to conflict of interest, being from my current employer and therefore also the employer I was hoping to get the new job with.

I had not any other current references; they said some pre-employement contacts would be fine. So rather than heading home to finish the other assignment I drove around first to the library the toy library of which I had volunteered at. The librarian who had been my contact back in 2011. She had gone home, but still worked there, and I was able to confirm a phone number with someone who was on duty. Then off to the university library I had had my second student placement under a few years before that. She had also gone home for the night, but still worked there, and I was able to get a phone number to reach her at.

So then I could get home at last and to schoolwork, although I do not really remember if I made much of any progress on the other assignment before its deadline. I did finish it the next evening and get it submitted before midnight and that was a great relief, especially as earlier in the day I had managed to call both of those contacts and obtain their consent to act as references for me, and forwarded their details to HR and got confirmation this would be suitable. Although I still have not heard back on how that went, and whether I will be getting the job.

But I did get word back on the other assignment, which was actually extra make-up work in order to not fail a class I took last semester. It served its purpose and I got my pass, which is great because one possible venue for being kicked out of school has been escaped. Still working on the other one.

Three weights off my shoulders. For a little while I felt so very light. But the fourth came right back; another request for an opportunity to take my practicum in a library of interest, sent that off Monday and by Tuesday night was rejected. Running out of time to organise that. Running desperately short of time.

But I keep being so tired from work, plus I fell into a void. Friday a day off, wanted to get my hair cut and take care of things, laundry and tidying type things. But instead I get struck down by some mystery illness. Supposedly only four days out of it until I could risk being back to work, but really it was infinity. Such vast span of time as to make all this typing a distant, distant reconstruction. Really only last week? Somehow.

I will get my hair cut tomorrow, and I will make another practicum request - I must! And perhaps my car will even get a new radio, if I am very fortunate indeed.

But I do not like tomorrow because today is the 20th and tomorrow is the 21st, and it would have been my grandmother's birthday had she survived this long. And it has been months and I still, still, still do not know how to process that she no longer exists. All that great void of never again. Keeps coming up and it hurts and I do not know what to do with it.

Driving to work today I had to go past the place where she was put to rest, incinerated a few months ago. Drive right on past like it was nothing and I a functional driver - and there must be so many people swallowed up in there, and yet people keep driving on by every day. Past where we bid farewell to my cousin the next week, and past where we had retired to gather afterward.

And tomorrow is nearly here and it will be an incomprehensible date of significance, and nothing will be done to mark it because all are sick; too much risk to others who still live to make mark when infection might spread, and someday it will mean nothing again.

I will get my hair cut, and try to decide what else might or might not bear the significance of the specific-just-another-day.

I had some good news, too. But I will put that in another post, maybe tomorrow, and let it bear itself alone.

Crossposts: http://aesmael.livejournal.com/686519.html

On the drive home today I listened to the episode of Planetary Radio covering SpaceShipOne's claiming of the X Prize, from way back in October of 2004 (why yes, I am behind on a great many things). The bulk of it held interviews with private industry types and a lot of overwrought language which annoyed me about how important what they did is.

Stuff like suggesting NASA and major aerospace corporations are now thinking "we're screwed" in the face of SpaceShipOne.

Because I have a helluva lot bigger goal than they do. And you know what that goal is? I absolutely have to develop a manned space tourism system for Sir Richard Branson that's at least a 100 times safer than anything that's ever flown a man to space and probably a lot more. I have to do that.

And perhaps it is just me, but I thoroughly do not believe building a suborbital or low Earth orbit moneymaker for a billionaire is even slightly bigger or more important than doing actual research on the rest of the solar system and universe. Maybe if they were working on a destination, somewhere to actually go and spend time in space that would be different. But not a quick dip out of the atmosphere so the rich and famous can score themselves a new "I've been there" shirt.

Crossposts: http://aesmael.livejournal.com/686186.html

Read some more of A Game of Thrones this morning, very much getting back into that story again and enjoying it. Likewise getting more into and enjoying Sailor Moon, and the contrast between those two stories.

Have been enjoying, also, taking some quiet time to make notes on what I am reading and how that encourages me to reflect on the stories as they go. In light of how this adds to my appreciation of what I read and brings pleasure in itself, am more firmly resolved to continue doing so despite my recent worries that no one else reads or cares about those entries. This is my diary, so to speak, and so long as I am pleased with it that should be good enough for now.

I think I may have overexerted myself by working yesterday. Been feeling a bit sicker again today so I have resumed symptom-alleviating medication to compensate, though I am still past what felt like the serious phase of it. Also, lots of tea courtesy of the staff kitchen. Have decided I perhaps like unsweetened black tea and am taking time to savour its flavour. Hopefully I shall be completely recovered, so that I can sleep more easily and this lingering fuzzy-headedness will no longer interfere with most anything I attempt to do.

Previously I managed to forget to mention that on the Tuesday evening when I succumbed to this illness I also gained one flat tyre[1]. That had not previously happened to me so I did not initially recognise the occasion, never mind that I can be spectacularly unobservant at times. The nearest moment I can think of was when I changed lanes around a cyclist and misjudged a change of gears, as happens occasionally (I want to attribute this one to falling under the weather). Shortly after that it seemed as if a patch of familiar road was uncharacteristically rough, but after that I was on the motorway and at high speed everything seemed fine. Only when I exited the motorway did the rough shakingness return and I began to worry I had somehow damaged the functioning of the car, as I always fear at the back of my mind whenever I do make such an error with the gears.

Having come to such a grim and expensive conclusion, I even managed to fill the tank with petrol without noticing the flat. My family went out and looked and informed me in the evening of the flat after I got back, though I like to believe that had they not done so I would have seen it for myself in the light of the following day.

Currently running on the spare until a replacement can be obtained, which necessitates taking slower and more complex routes in the meanwhile. Not fun with poor sleep and lingering sickness clouding my wits at the moment. But at least I now have experience recognising and changing flats, and recognising tyres in danger so I'm better equipped to travel into the future.

I'm also feeling much better for finding and taking some quiet time in which to write all this out. It forces me to realise how much I have missed blogging type activities and how much I might need to cut down on social media type activities to be able to return to this. I think doing so will be difficult; as the name implies I get a lot of socialisation from social media and I feel a bit of guilt at potentially withdrawing further from the friendships and associations I have developed there.

In truth I have already done so to a degree over the past several months for both emotional and practical reasons. But my current habits are still not well-aligned with the sorts of thinking and speaking I have been missing and it is very easy to default back to especially twitter as a ready source of stimulus for any moment of boredom. I do not know what would be best to do; I aim to try different things at least until I find myself more pleased with my being than I am now.

[1] Previously been referring to this as 'blown out', but have just looked up the term and discovered I was incorrect to do so.

Crossposts: http://aesmael.livejournal.com/669746.html

Originally published at a denizen's entertainment. You can comment here or there.

It has been four years since I began the process of getting licensed to drive. This morning I finally had my test to qualify for an unrestricted licence.

Before heading out I ended up listening some Herman's Hermits. Love a lot of the songs on that album, so won't be trying to list particular favourites. Except to say 'Mrs Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter' is a great example of to do a song of the "I'm in love with a woman and she isn't in love with me" sort that isn't creepy. So that was a fun way to get myself woken up and dancing of a morning. I never remember how much I miss music until I put just the right thing on.

Surprisingly little wait for the test, except the unexpected form filling out, and then a whole lot of nervousness. It was in content a hazard knowledge test plus some video sequences with scenario in which the testee is to touch the scene whenever they believe it would be the safe and appropriate time to perform a described action.

Was uncertain about a couple of the knowledge questions, and a couple of the visual ones too. One in particular, was worried I'd selected to make the turn too early, and thus failed.

Very nervous, but presumably is obvious from the structure of this post that I passed. So now I have a full licence finally and don't have to have those plates attached to the car any longer.

Might have made a bad choice to get the licence for only one year - cost nearly $50, with $115 being the price for three years and $150 for five - but it caught me off-guard and I didn't want to spend so much unexpectedly. Ah well. Hopefully will have a job by next time and more income to dispose of.

Finally managed to get back to class today. Been far too long since I made it to class and it felt good today; I have missed it.

Since I have not seen the past couple of lessons in this class I have fallen a bit behind. Catching up was hampered too by my lack of sleep lately, so for the most part I did not even try to read through the material we had been covering, only noting what it was for a more alert time. Despite this I still managed to be one of the more vocal students, and the teacher did remark that I was doing well for someone who had not been present the past couple of weeks. I still want to attend regularly but the reassurance was welcome.

It turned out class had been cancelled on Monday and I had missed being informed about this. Ah well.

In mid class break I went off with a group of other students to talk. Mostly had little to say as most of the conversation involved people settling in to their new library jobs. Toward the end of the break one of the girls asked about what I was reading, so I mentioned A Series of Unfortunate Events which is being read to

pazi_ashfeather, plus my abortive attempt at reading The Bourne Identity. Gotta find some new print reading since a lot of what I had has been reassigned to the 'read to

pazi_ashfeather queue and what I am reading now is... gah! Self-imposed rules. *mutters*

Anyway, this girl in my class had just been reading Harry Potter, although her current passion is Twilight, which she maintains is definitely superior. Plus she likes The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons. Fortunately I have not read any of those so I did not have to give my opinion on them. Was still fun to get to talk about books with someone. Apparently she is quite surprised to find herself enjoying science fiction and fantasy.

In the latter parts of the class I nearly (let's say did and be more likely true) fell asleep from tiredness. It turns out a couple of weeks ago was Q's birthday - A gave her a quite large plush Totodile, which she hopes will not eat her chocobo. And she had some local business before going home so I declined to offer her a lift home because, having just fallen asleep in class, I felt it would be wrong to risk a passenger's life as well as my own coming home.

Now here I am.

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Camera Obscura - Razzle Dazzle Rose

Maxvelocity +10kph

Current Mood: distressed

But we were not the first.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Tess!

    I went out shopping earlier. Did not find what I was after, probably just as well because a storm was breaking as I came home and it would have been soaked. My first time ever driving with lightning, with rain coming down so hard I had to turn the wipers up to full and everything turned to mist.
    The clouds themselves were not so dark, so the rain had to make up the extra.

    I did hear on the news that someone was killed by the storm, so perhaps it is fortunate we did not get it as intensely here, nor any of the promised hail. I did get soaked getting out of the car though, which is exactly the same as dying.

    My sheets were (are) out there though, so maybe I will sleep on a bare mattress or take this opportunity to dig up a set which fits my bed or just not sleep at all. Who knows?

    Also, I really must get to writing some time before midnight. Last night I managed 42 words of Elegant Girl, thinking I was inspired to finally write the story about the dragon. Unfortunately it turns out I was only thinking so. I also wrote 128 words for my Sekrit Projekt. That is not many and certainly not enough to make the average I should be to meet my monthly target, however it does have the advantage of being exactly as much as the story needed, no more and no less.
    So I am happy about that, if not my writing overall. Shall see what I can manage tonight, tho it would be better if I did not start tired.

910 / 9,300
(8.0%)

Current Mood: blank
Current Location: floor
Current Music: Nicolaus Esterhazy Sinfonia - Symphony No. 3 in E-flat major, Op. 55, "Eroica" - Scherzo: Allegro Vi

One of my new least favourite things about summer is the wheel getting so hot it hurts to hold
Heard an ad for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End on DVD. I hear the phrase "the trilogy comes full circle" too often. This time I was amused to realise it is accurate, at least for Jack.

Current Mood: bored

    I overslept again - must get back into a sleeping pattern that plays well with others - and woke just fifteen minutes before I was due to be at TAFE so I threw on some not-pyjama clothes, told the Jehovah's Witness I was in a hurry, answered the phone and told my mother the same when she asked why I was there to answer it, and made my way over without hurrying because when you are driving that is illegal.
    It took me a while to find the room I was meant to be in. The building turned out to be at the far end of the grounds and there was a missing digit on the printout I had which directed me first to a janitor's closet. However, there was no drama and everything appears to be in order, although there was a display of eerie librarian powers when the teachers all seemed to know my name by sight without me ever mentioning it.
    Then back home to repair the bathroom doorknob which I am proud say is now sturdy again. According to my sister Monroe is becoming easier to provoke into life, although she still needs hoisting to her feet to get started.
    And here we are.

Current Location: dancing at the market
Current Music: Whispering Hills - Kajiura Yuki (Noir OST 1)

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aesmael

May 2022

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Page Summary

Today I
Parenthetically
So much to say, so little me to say it with
But I do love the show a lot of the time
Words woken from quiet
Four years
Ahhhh! Zombies in my class!
Test passed
soltice and I had an idea
Clouds as dark as night
Driving Realisations
The act of appearing busy

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