aesmael: (haircut)
This is the time of year when I do a little half-hearted journaling, before soon petering out again. There have been plenty of times when I wanted to journal over the past year or two and did not - a lot because I found myself tired and 'busy' between school and social and work, and a bit because mostly I wanted to write my displeasure or worry about events at work but those happenings were forbidden to be made public.

    Concerns about more staff reshuffling, about people being brought in from outside to take charge of the library and the people who had been running it in the interim getting knocked back to subordinate roles and yet still, in a lot of ways, running things because they're the ones familiar with operations and with connections to and trust of the other staff. About renovations and my suspicion we will have reduced space for the collection - I'm sure it will be spacious and pleasant and perhaps even a good place to study and read, but maybe with not as much //to// read. I'm also disappointed that increased physical accessibility I'm told could not have been added to the design, despite my request. And about a branch of the library being closed with almost no notification to the public, admittedly one with very low use but there aren't many resources in that end of town already, and this also blocks access to the public toilets the branch housed.

    I'm disheartened because there is nowhere for me to go with this job. But I hope to graduate at the end of the year and maybe then I can find better work elsewhere. It will probably mean switching from part-time to full-time to find something I can live on, but that may be what I have to do.

    In major project news, I've completed the first phase of cleaning up and organising my living space, by evacuating from my room nearly all the clutter that has accumulated over the past decade. The next phase will probably be to go over what's been removed and decide which items may be invited back into my space, and which must be disposed of or go elsewhere.
aesmael: (sudden sailor)
2019-01-01
The thing about Julia Wolfe's "Lad" is it may be the first time I've really enjoyed a piece written for bagpipe. I'm not someone to cringe and theatrically dismay at the sound of bagpipes, but they hadn't really clicked with me either as something which sounds amazing or beautiful.

2019-01-04
It was probably 2017 that I started playing my "current" game of Angband. I've hardly played it at all - not at all for the past year I think - because I decided I wanted to stream it and show how that version worked before switching to the more adventurously experimental versions then and currently in development. Unfortunately I also switched back to Windows sometime then and, in Windows, OBS seems unable to capture all of Angband's sub-windows without capturing the entire screen, which means having to take great care not to accidentally leak any unwanted personal information of myself or anyone I communicate with that could potentially be displayed. It proves to be a big enough obstacle that I effectively have ceased playing altogether.

Therefore I have concluded that particular commitment must be done away with. I shall finish that game to death or victory, and any game I do stream will most likely be played at the public server at http://angband.live/

What happens this week? Bought a new PS3 controller as the old one seems to have quit working. The new one refuses to connect however, so we don't seem to be better off.

2019-01-10
Today I baked a lime meringue pie, taking a recipe for lemon and making a simple substitution. Not yet has it been tasted, although it ought to be delicious.

Today I learned someone must have hit my car while it was parked, most likely last night while I was purchasing ingredients for the pie I baked today. The rear left corner was scratched up and streaked with blue paint, possibly dented. Disheartening as my last car was wrecked by someone driving into me and striking the same location. I feel superstitiously afraid this one's days are likewise numbered.

Today I mapped out the basic location-concepts for the quest path for Star Wars: The Lost Heart. I want to develop those into enough detail that I know what their mysteries are and who are their major players, factions and tendencies so that I'll be able to bring them to life if and when we get there, but not to go so much detail that I already have the whole story written to force people into. Similarly with the state of the galaxy at time zero and what other major figures or points of interest have a good chance of coming up - or being available to pull out of a hat if I suddenly need them. Essentially two sets of landmarks, one for The Galaxy Now and one for The Quest As Intended. Then I can feel relatively confident at letting players loose without having to make quite everything up on the spot.

Or so I imagine.

Inventing is actually hard for me, I think. Or inventing the satisfying right thing of story. This is my supposition for why I write so slowly, for I feel I can at times quite readily toss off some broad idea which feels quite exciting, but to follow through with invention in details is quite laborious. I like to think that practice will make this easier, or perhaps to create an outline from which to work so that when it comes to the writing I am only filling in the details of how it happened, having previously resolved the tricky questions of what and why.

Now, writing as in journaling. That is mostly difficult in terms of remembering to do so. And remembering what has happened in order to write it down. And especially in doing my journaling later at night when, yes, the day has mostly happened to be written about in retrospect but also when I am feeling quite sleepy and actually transferring the text from journal-local to journal-webbed feels an obstacle not worth the effort of surmounting.

So, will these words be retrospectively published in the morning? Tune in to find out.
aesmael: (just people)
[actually yesterday's words]

Today's intended experiment was not followed through, but I did mostly work on projects I intended to work on instead of getting lost. Let's call that a partial victory.

To do: my profile interests have not been edited since maybe 2008? they're probably overdue for an update, and maybe I can find some communities on here I'd be interested in joining. Communities are something I've missed since the days of LiveJournal and maybe there are some active enough to be worth participating in. There weren't, last I checked.

I suppose few people want to be the first dancer at the party.
aesmael: (nervous)
"I sure wish I had somewhere to post longer text dealies and share them with people."
*gently reminds self ve has a dreamwidth account*
aesmael: (haircut)
Why is it dreamwidth's mood list never has just the right one? Where's my bleak, where's my lost?

Give me back my feelings, blogsite!
This is a test post!


... if you're seeing this, the LogJam LJ client is functioning and I haven't managed to make it stop.
aesmael: (probably quantum)
LiveJournal and Dreamwidth are so desolate, I think I have seen more than one person refer to them as ghost towns. Even though I have contributed to this by having so little to say for so long, and not saying what there was of it here, I'm not happy about this. The two of them are to my mind the best-structured of any sites I have tried which might bear the label 'social network'.

Flaws, sure. But at least they are structured in a way that supports blogging or journalling and gives me some control of what happens to the post afterward and who can access it. Even though I mostly only post public anyway.

I have decided therefore to go all cargo cult about this. If I post more, talk more about what is going on in my life and thoughts, then I can pretend to myself this will have some sort of encouraging effect on the wider internet and these sites could live again.

This is an excellent plan.

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aesmael

May 2022

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