aesmael: (pangoself)
Journalling is of course a foredoomed activity. Yet there are times when it becomes especially appealing. And so - why not indulge? Unlikely but perhaps we may even build a habit. There are far less healthy things I might do, and have been doing.

To get what feels the most obligatory topic out of the way, the family Xmas gathering appears to have gone well. Only at the very end did my siblings get into an argument about vaccinations. Unfortunately I do not know how further to press the case there that it is a very prudent thing to do about a very real danger to one's well-being. I have done my best, and would rather avoid burning any further bridges until they prove necessary.

For now I have some time off work. Likely this is why I have the energy to write anything whatsoever. So while I would like to at least nominally keep some record of an event or feeling for each day I doubt doing so shall be a persistent activity.

Today especially lamenting my lack of writing. There is a piece I sketched out early November that needs a thorough revision, and another piece I promised to write that needs to get beyond outlining. I'd like to write more completely indulgent fiction, because why not please myself?

Tonight I pulled up the old Guide to Darkmoon Vale, aiming to take some notes to flesh out a campaign idea I'd had to mix in the adventure series set there (that begins with Hollow's Last Hope) along with free-roaming activities likely kicked off by an employment offer by a disguised reclusive dragon known to live in the area. But by the time I had got my pen out and notebook open to the next page it all seemed too pointless and pathetic to bother with. There isn't really anything to hope for or look forward to, and I would be wasting my time to plot out yet another go-nowhere idea. Much better tomorrow to put my energies toward learning to program. Then I can focus on moving the dolls around by myself without worrying about other people.

Tomorrow shall be another day
aesmael: (pangoself)

[editor's note: this was written in February 2019]

Surprised how long this took me to reread, although I did keep getting distracted – 20 minutes here and there a few times a week isn’t really that much. Despite this, and in keeping with my first read, it all felt very fast and over quite soon.

I liked that, especially early on, Leia was recognised as being a capable Jedi in her own right and that she continued to learn and develop her powers throughout the story. Particularly that she played a key role in helping to shake Luke out of the dark side and the twins’ cooperation being shown as necessary to break free of evil and defeat the emperor. This made a much stronger presentation of the idea that working together is the key to overcoming evil, and that trying to take on that burden alone is opening yourself to needless suffering that you may not be able to overcome without help.

I liked a lot less that aside from this Leia is treated largely as being important just as the vehicle by which more Jedi will be birthed and that the primary objective of the emperor through this story is to possess the body of her initially unborn son as a replacement for own failing line of clones, which had been damaged by drawing on the dark side of the force. So, while I appreciate that unlike most of the stories which follow on from Return of the Jedi, Leia gets to embrace the force and develop her capabilities with it, I also resent that despite this she is mainly recognised by both allies and enemies as the mother of powerful jedi to come.

Perhaps I’m being too harsh. Parenting is certainly important, and I would like to see more stories which include characters who are parents, or families, but I do get the feeling that Leia is treated as either a person or a mother and not both at once. Excusable on the part of a villain who sees people as only either enemies or instruments of his will. Less so for allies who supposedly oppose evil.

aesmael: (writing things down)
[these notes date to November 2014]

1. Dark Empire

Lines like this one:

“They're headin' straight for the Imperial City where the Emperor himself used to hang his hat – when he was alive!”

are pretty clunky, and it does not make much sense for a character to be saying this unless it will turn out the Emperor is not in fact as dead as believed.

Leia Organa, wife of Han Solo, already a mother of two, is above all things, a jedi warrior.

It would be nice if the rest of the story remembered this early statement. I do like Leia getting to call upon the force several times early on in this story to accomplish stuff like acting as gunner on the Millennium Falcon. Although, she did not get to deal with the scavengers' attack dog-things (neks) despite preparing to so I suppose we missed out there. Thanks Luke, ya big showoff.

A weird thing about this comic is the way it has solid blocks of colour schemes. A few pages through some red filter, and then yellow-green on later pages and so forth, as if any single page can only have a strictly limited palette. Ami assures me this is not typical for comics.

Very striking visual of Luke being sucked up into the force storm along with R2-D2 and all the junk from the planet's surface.

The planet they were on at the start of the story is not named so far as I can tell, except as “the imperial planet”. It is only identified as Coruscant in the introductory text prefacing Dark Empire; I was rather surprised by how much the appearance of Coruscant differs from what I had been accustomed to. Also shock that the New Republic managed to lose control of Coruscant and this does not seem to have been regarded as a big deal despite there being novels set prior to this in which they are comfortably ensconced on Coruscant as their seat of government. Suspect some of this is due to Zahn refusing to let Dark Empire be set before the Thrawn trilogy (by refusing to reference this story) and it consequently having to be moved later in the timeline, but doubt that could explain it all.



aesmael: (tricicat)
Dear diary,

I don't know what to write about today, so perhaps I shouldn't. But I can say these things: Today I read two comic books in their entirety, and as much as those are very light and swift reading, it's taken me multiple days to read the last few I've read, in moments snatched on lunch breaks and while waiting for things to happen, so it feels simultaneously relieving and disappointing to open up a book for the first time and have it evaporate so swiftly. I typed up a few pages of notes from a notebook that I'd written several years previously and never quite managed the intention and will to transfer to a digital form. And despite canned pumpkin apparently not existing in this country (still not shocked - I'd never encountered it in the wild before a recipe asked for it) I managed to find out how to process a raw pumpkin into similar form at home and transformed it into - if I do say so myself - a pretty tasty pumpkin and coconut cream soup. Some of the thyme got burned and I would have benefited by collecting that first batch of little bits into a bowl to dump into the pot together, but that's only a question of improvement. What I made was good already.
aesmael: (friendly)
[editor's note: this was written last night but not published until today on account of getting caught up writing about the below-mentioned comics]

Probably I've got to spend less time writing these so I can be doing anything else instead. Actually making, typing fictiony things?

Maybe I need a passion to create. Maybe that's what I'm feeling and it isn't really inertia pushing me to story without intent or desire.

Maybe what I need is to actually go and do and make more again. Is that something I can do? We can give it a try.

Proceeding sequentially, as is our wont, attempting to finish writing down my thoughts and feelings on Batgirl/Robin Year One before moving on to Power Girl: Power Trip. I can't decide if this insistence is sensible or harmful to my goals, to write these before focusing on making my own stories. I want to get that done and take stock and move onward.

Listening, while I type, to the two-disc Neotokyo album published by 0edit on Bandcamp.
aesmael: (nervous)
Looks like all the bad things waited to pile up today.

Got up early, or rather, did not sleep in, to get my car serviced. Difficult to stay unconscious all the way to my alarm as the cat my sister and her boyfriend adopted and then abandoned here this month is not a fan of folk sleeping past 05:00 when they could be feeding her. I ended up waiting in their office for three hours instead of taking a shuttle (no Christmas shopping as such to do - all I wanted was groceries, which did not seem likely to keep until the car was ready). pet's being sick so lots of worry and wanting to comfort, although we're sure it is short-duration. Doesn't make it any more fun.

Finished reading Power Girl: Power Trip pretty quickly (so ought to write down my thoughts on that while they're still fresh). Listened to part of spotify's 'composer weekly' on Julia Wolfe, noting down some works to explore later ("Dark Full Ride" and "Into the Clouds" stood out so far), and reading some of the GameMastery Guide.

Found out a friend is getting abruptly booted out of home by their long-term partner so lots of sympathetic distress and concern. And, too far away to be much of any help either. Fortunately there are others who can but still, lots worry. I don't think this will end in homelessness but it's still going to be extremely life-destructive, not even counting the emotional devastation.

Until I got back in the car I wasn't sure whether I would go directly home or get groceries first. Groceries proved to be a mistake, much later, when I got home and discovered the lid had been knocked loose on my water bottle and leaked through my bag. All seemed fine except the Power Girl comic I borrowed from work. I've done my best to dry it out while hiding from a hostile family aura for not letting in their dog when a storm suddenly arose and then disappeared. I worry I wasn't quick or thorough enough - shouldn't be hiding.

Things are not good.
aesmael: (pangoself)
Yesterday afternoon [actually Monday] I had what might develop into a revelation. I hate the weakness and frailty of being human, having to deal with sickness or age or being provoked or whatever. So maybe that is part of why I latched onto adventure stories or still hold onto them, and why it tends to get to me when those stories do go into torture or mind control or, really, anything that forces either the protagonists to show themselves as mortal or else to run up against my suspension of disbelief.

Here's a common, trivial sort of example: a character is taunted by another, especially with insults directed at family. The taunted character responds with ill-considered violence and suffers for it.

Perhaps to develop this idea in the future, when I can think more clearly on it?

Tuesday, the drive home included an episode of Writing Excuses put some familiar advice back in my awareness. I should follow it if I ever put KMS into editing. The first story especially should be starting much later than where I began it. Not going to act on that yet, not until I've got at least a few more written, a better feel for the shape of the characters and the world and the stories.

Today: cool and grey and not wet enough. The branch library was very quiet. Most complex part of the day was having to refuse to make change for someone (would've been cleaned out) while simultaneously getting a cleaner access to a locked room. Newish casual co-worker so some getting-to-know-you and showing her how to do a few things.

I marked off a large number of books and other items across several lists, all confirmed missing from the shelves for definite. Feels like I didn't do much today but really, that was more than thirty pages of missing items. That was plenty.

This evening resuming chess with my pet after several stymied days. As I've been telling everyone who'll listen, I managed to confuse her king with her queen and made a move accordingly... after that I just couldn't get my bearings. Plus her defences are pretty formidable to my eyes.

What I've realised tonight is I only know how to move the pieces in chess; I don't know how to play. Something new to learn.

Now, bed. Up early again in the morning to get my car serviced.
aesmael: (pangoself)
Dear diary,

With the impending collapse of tumblr it seems to me I should write to you more often. Not, that is, that I have been writing so very much there that I feel a need to displace that writing elsewhere. Tumblr's reblog system leaves me rather too worried of losing control of my words and their being passed around to assorted strangers who will eventually find me failing some hidden standard and so bend all their will and energy to destroy me. It's an irrational fear since the same could happen no matter where I speak if I let my words be seen. But it is a large part of why I do not speak on that platform and stick instead to reblogging what I find cute or funny or think another would enjoy encountering.

This isn't exactly true either. I write to you at intervals but can never quite capture a day within the day, and then next day that has become the past, unimportant, and we skip the stage of anything like publication. Maybe a fifth? I can't remember and don't care to check.

Today featured a big trip across town to get a new oestrogen implant put in, plus prescriptions. I picked something up for the library's secret santa next week. Later, having breakfast at a café and reading Batgirl/Robin Year One, had a little conversation with the person waiting my table and managed to get some poetry recs out of em.

The names:

- R. H. Sin
- Michael Faudet
- Lang Leav
- Rupi Kaur
- Robert M. Drake

Been thinking, recently, again, of exploring some poetry. Likely to take a while. There are still several books to read in my current exploration of comics.

In the material world I'm pleased to say that this year I've managed to pass my classes for this year. Combine those with next year's enrolments and I'll finally be done with what I failed in 2016. Hate to admit that.

In gaming terms the Fatefinder Society has been going well. Lots of fun deviations from and elaborations on the scenarios. Looking forward to where we go in the next few sessions which I'm hoping will get to actually advance some character stories. Not everyone has a backstory I can readily find a forward direction for, but it's fun keeping those in mind and looking for opportunities to tie in with each scenario we play.

Unfortunately the Rise of the Runelords game I was so excited about running last year looks like it won't be happening, thanks to our old friend non-participation. I know that's the typical fate of role-playing games but still disappointing. Maybe I could recruit some other people to play instead.

For the moment, however, my main excitements are to try and write some adventures of my own. Especially the Star Wars sequel game that I've been considering for a few years, using Starfinder as the system, but also enjoying trying to find a circumstance inspired by each creature in the Pathfinder bestiaries and exploring where those ideas take me.
aesmael: (it would have been a scale model)
Made some progress today. Finished, I think, writing up my thoughts on those three volumes of Batgirl, and maybe someday they'll even get posted! So now I can finally give those back to the library and perhaps tomorrow I shall start reading the volumes of Valerian and Laureline I borrowed from work. Don't look forward to hearing about that soon either. But someday, if wishes and dreams come true.

Just imagine what I could get done if I stayed focused and avoided the siren lure of social media and adjacent time-sinks, eh? Of course if I could manage to not turn absolutely every thing I do into work and a project then we wouldn't be stressing about this but, then, what would we aspire to do with this time?

Perpetual resolution: time should not be blank?

Actually tomorrow will likely involve a walk down to the pharmacy. Keep forgetting to refill the inhaler prescription and especially tonight has involved a lot of coughing and spluttering which would be very kind if it proved to be coincidence.

Just went back over my diary entries from the past year to add tags. That was a big heap of depressing to hit me in the face. Tears now. Don't know what's the point in my being alive still. Ruined everything. Alone and going to stay that way. There isn't really anything to live for any more, if there ever was. Just got to keep distracted so we don't think about it or feel.
aesmael: (Electric Waves)

[Wrote this on Wednesday; some additions before posting Friday due to the passage of time]

I think I must have mentioned the acquisition of fragmentary older archives of SETI Radio (now Are We Alone?) previously because memory says I have written of starting the podcast listening over again and going through an initial set of Planetary Radio alone.

It continues to irk me that I do not have access to the full, original run of Are We Alone? from 2002 because I do remember seeing those listed in iTunes back in 2005-06 or thenabouts but of course at the time did not have the bandwidth - or possibly even the storage space - to download them then. The same is true for some other shows like Planetary Radio, but at least they still have their entire run available on the website.

But since then, as I have been distracted from writing by school and workplace commitments, we have moved on successively to first a truncated second playlist where The Naked Scientists originally came in, and then a third beginning at the point where the earliest available episodes of Are We Alone? from https://archive.org/ begin.

Probably I mentioned that early Planetary Radio featured heavily guests and projects connected with the Planetary Society, such as SETI@Home, before moving on to a strong Mars focus for the historic close approach of Earth and Mars in August 2003 and the launches of several robotic missions to Mars; that focus has continued to where I am currently at in listening, late January 2004 when the second of two rovers (Opportunity) has only just landed on that planet.

I feel like my insistence on pinning these podcasts as near as I am able into a chronological order is vindicated by occasions such as the landing of the Spirit rover (and now Opportunity) when I have each of these three science shows reporting on the same events from their own particular perspectives and sources. It gives me an enjoyable feeling of synergy, a sense of time and place that these programs really do relate to each other in some meaningful way.

The current list, Playlist 3, is I am sure by far the longest that will be in at least terms of span covered. It starts at the beginning of November 2003 and extends to January 2005, when Playlist 4 will begin with the addition of The Philosopher's Zone from ABC Radio. To that point, every single podcast in my list which extends so far back in time is one also broadcast by radio, which seems odd to me. The first which exists purely as a podcast (and I suppose in that sense as an entirely amateur production[1]) is the one following, Slacker Astronomy, which is also the earliest podcast on my list to no longer be active.

It continues to be strange to me that The Naked Scientists hosts a call-in contest “Science Fact or Science Fiction” wherein callers are presented with a claim and asked to judge whether it is true or made up, because there is a similar game in the podcast The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe [2], Science or Fiction, in which the hosts are challenged to pick the fake science news stories from the genuine ones.

Nearly finished the book I'm reading[3] at the moment and have nearly a week to wait until I can get hold of the sequel at earliest. In the meanwhile as well as working on that placement report I can hopefully make sure to get some more writing done on what I think of the various books I've been reading over the past year. Most of them do have partial or complete notes written up already, it's just a few gaps that need filling so I can finish off and actually put them up in the order they were read. Am quite looking forward to getting that done because I do tend to enjoy talking about what I am reading and what I think of it, even if this is mostly awful.

So, objective for the next few days: work on placement report, work on not-reviews, also hopefully put together a nice meal for people which will likely involve fish.

Getting up to date on not-reviews and on my reading database are the two main personal projects I feel backlogged on currently. Maybe after those are up to date I will feel free to write more and to play games, both of which I feel I am missing out on. Therefore, the perpetual cry of diligence and energy!

[1] Although of the four which precede it, two are on public, non-profit broadcasters and the other two, as I understand it, rather rough or humble beginnings before acquiring their polish.

[2] Which doesn't start until 2005 but due to more extensive RSS availability I listened to a lot of in my first attempt at podcast catch-up – it was nearly the oldest one available by that approach.

[3] Now actually finished, during a lovely lunch in a café yesterday after my endocrinologist appointment.

aesmael: (it would have been a scale model)
Tried starting up a bookclub at the beginning of this year and it did not go well. I put a lot of the blame on having been swallowed up by work for nearly three weeks of the month, and on being struggling with school again. Even if I had been reading our first book (The Player of Games by Iain M. Banks) on my breaks I wouldn't have had the energy to be posting about it each week. And I wouldn't have been up for a group discussion on it this week at the end of the month either, because this is deadline week for half my grade.

Other people haven't been participating either. I put this down to my lack of doing my part as the organiser and instigator to bring energy and encouragement, at least initially to get things going. If I don't make a bookclub something people value in its own right and for themselves, they aren't going to put their own time and energy into it when I'm not up for that myself.

On the one hand that went quite badly. On the other hand, this means we have a fairly clean slate on which to try again for next month. Of course there is no guarantee that any of these problems won't recur or that new ones will not arise. However, the number and length of shifts I had in January is relatively rare and partly due to other staff being on vacation, and for me February will be between semesters so I am optimistic that we may be able to get some momentum going that will sustain the group through the next rough patch whenever that comes.
aesmael: (sexy)

Sometimes I worry that I am too critical of things and that I am no longer capable of enjoying any new story I encounter. That seeing flaws in a story prevents me from also enjoying that story. But then I read something like the story I am currently reading and it has all sorts of issues and I feel like Data's tone here nicely conveys how I am enjoying it, even aside from any consideration of its various problems.
aesmael: (sudden sailor)

I wanted to keep more of a diary again. Guess my first attempt at making a post of this getting accidentally deleted is as good an excuse as any. That's what happens when you have a part-written post in a browser window and then reboot the computer.

Earlier in the week I finally got an ultrasound for my wrist. Unfortunately no sign showed of what is causing the pain I have been in experiencing there. People seem to be treating that as good news which puzzles me - if there'd been an affirmative discovery of a problem, couldn't I have got something done about it? Now I'm in the position of waiting another month with painkillers and hoping it goes away before I can get a referral to a rheumatoid specialist for further investigation.Has been feeling a bit better the past couple of days, which I suspect is due more to having had several days off work than to taking extra care with my posture and typing since if I were to say I managed that half the time I'd be being generous. Can't hurt though, I hope.

[at this time the author takes a break for approximately 4 days or more]

I suppose I don't know what else to say. So far as resolutions go - that tradition of the new year - I suppose what I want to do is to occupy myself sufficiently with personal projects and activities to spend far less time haunting social media. Of course there's school, but I would like to, to have myself together enough to get writing again sometimes too. And games, and reading... I've been trying to persuade a book club into existence and also have been very enthusiastic of late about role-playing games. Aspiring to run and perhaps even to play in some this year.

Been focusing on Pathfinder first with vague plans to try running some practice adventures and hopefully cobble together a Star Wars themed campaign (Starfinder) based on an authentic [personal profile] ami_angelwings  idea. But first I'm trying to read up a lot on advice for running games well so that I can hopefully do a good job and help everyone involved have fun.

Right now, right next, I need to work hard at school. I worry I can't manage both school and much in the way of hobbies. Every attempt I make to manage my time well so far ends in weeks of anxious fretting and bursts of panicked labour. But I keep hoping and I keep trying. I suppose there is not anything else I can do.

On which note I better actually be doing that schoolwork now.

[started this January 1st, a few days later than I wanted to, and finished writing it yesterday. I do not want to abandon social media so much as I want to fill my life with enough satisfying industrious pleasure that I find myself less dependent on and habituated to it.]

Act 11 – Reunion, Endymion

In the previous chapter and this, there has been a lot of using a drawing of a bunny as shorthand for character’s referring to Usagi. First noticed around when they were on the Moon and, I think it was Sailor Venus, joked about her being a real moon bunny. I’d known for a long while her name was a reference to the moon rabbit, but had not expected her to be depicted so directly with one.

I pretty much always find mind control plots distressing.

Coincidentally illuminating Game Centre conversation explains to us which stones the Four Kings are named for and represent.

Oh, princess. It is not kind to rename your minions in ways they don’t like.

The happenings here are strange. I thought at first Usagi was dreaming again, but apparently she actually made her physical way to the game centre.

This whole chapter is difficult to follow. Apparently more unspecified time is passing and it doesn’t feel like anything is going on but time passing. All the urgency about rescuing Tuxedo Mask or investigating the stone sword or anything else seems very intermittent, almost a token gesture while a long span of nothingness or ominous seduction is going on. Found it difficult to recognise Minako and Makoto or distinguish them from each other – Ami and Rei are much more distinctive to me in their appearance and it is significantly easier for me to recognise them and their contributions to the story.

I didn’t like at the end that Makoto was vulnerable to Endymion’s hypnosis. Found it a bit more understandable that Usagi would be shocked and delayed in her ability to react, but puzzled that apparently the others were there, and yet it seemed like Sailor Venus fighting alone. Also, how is it that Beryl is able to show up everywhere at the end of fights?

aesmael: (just people)

Act 10 – Moon

I’m having increasing difficulty recognising where are the boundaries between these chapters.

Tuxedo Mask / Endymion captured, a portion of the power of the Legendary Silver Crystal absorbed into his body. Surely the stage is set for a bold and dramatic rescue of not only our heroine’s love, but also the aspect of that which she guards that is contained within him.

Fortunately the Dark Kingdom is utterly foiled by whatever ineffable magic is going on here. I would think it is something related to the unity of their hearts, so that though he now holds the active part of the Legendary Silver Crystal’s power within him, and she possesses the crystal which once contained it, the both shall remain inert until brought together again in a moment of romantic honesty.

We shall see how well that bears out.

Cats, travelling a small eternity from the Moon to Earth in little tubes. Seems deathly dull and tedious, can see why Luna might not want to remember that.

All this talk of awakening the characters to their past lives, ‘true selves’, it all seems rather romantisexual. “[H]er awakening happened in a way we didn’t anticipate” - falling for the reincarnation of her past love, mutual self-sacrifice and passionate desire to save one another. Awakening to knowledge and duty, but at the same time to love, and through love Sailor Moon has however inadvertently seized some part of her destiny to herself, away from the plans others would make for her.

Side effects of losing your prince may include becoming Rapunzel.

I like Rei’s eerie pronouncements but the lack of urgency in this part of the story was weird to me. Tuxedo Mask has been captured, but Usagi spends a week crying in her room before realising he needs rescuing? And then they wait however long it further takes for the moon to become full so they can visit the former kingdom and gain information. It’s suggested to be a necessary wait to do what they need to do but it still feels weird.

Was surprised the Moon (normally I might refer to the Moon as Luna, as a proper name instead of a descriptive label for that body. but we have a character named Luna in this story and that might be confusing) looks like its actual self. I was expecting some sort of habitable fantasy place.

Apparently the Four Kings were not revived in the previous chapter? Seems again like only Kunzite remains, and then an unknown time after the trip to the Moon he too is finally defeated back to gem form in their “second time in space”. Their story has grown a lot more tragic with backstory, now that we know their true mission is to serve and guard Endymion, but that they have been co-opted and taken over by Beryl and the Dark Kingdom.

The part where Endymion is revived to act as Beryl’s servant, I remember finding this part of the story annoying in the anime adaptation. But, we shall see. Also, Beryl’s insistence to Metaria that he is still useful alive puts me in mind of Vader to the Emperor about Luke, especially since she then does go and make a servant of him.

aesmael: (transformation)

Act 9 Serenity, Princess

Although from the feel of the narrative it was relatively easy to tell where this chapter began and the last left off, more or less, I still when it came to actually writing these got a bit confused as the title page does not match where the table of contents says the story begins (nor where it feels like the transition is, which is closer to agreeing with the TOC). At first I thought the TOC might be incorrect but it seemed to match with the previous chapters, so my current opinion is that this chapter has an especially long introductory segment before ‘giving away’ its title.

Apparently Makoto / Jupiter plays a large role in discerning the danger this episode and warning the others of it.

-5 points Sailor Moon being saved by Tuxedo Mask again

+ um, I don’t know, 20 points for the look on his face after she kisses him?

A wild title screen appears! But, it’s halfway through the chapter.

Heroic self-sacrifice, enabling the protagonist to recall her identity and powers (to an extent) thanks to the intensity of her grief. I feel sure I have seen that before but apart from Pokemon I am failing to recall where.

The forehead symbol-changing sequence looks unpleasant. I imagine it being accompanied by a wrenching sense of identity-shifting which is perhaps no less painful for Sailor V(enus) than for Usagi / Sailor Moon / Princess Serenity.

Also how this seems to be the culmination of a thread through recent chapters and pages of people, including Usagi herself, wondering how many faces she has to present to the world and how real the person she has been is.

And then we dive into the tragic backstory of the doomed romance between Serenity and Endymion, their long-past lives. Star-crossed lovers, forbidden by the laws of just how things are. So not only was Endymion the Prince of Earth as Serenity is the Princess of the Moon but Beryl was Queen of the Earth, presumably his mother.

That’s a big shock. I hadn’t been expecting so close a relationship between them, although I had been wondering what each of their domains were and whether it might be Earth. And apparently Jadeite, Nephrite, Zoisite and Kunzite are the Earthly counterparts to the Sailor Scouts, the gems of the Earth to match the gems of the heavens. Good thing we got a wave of healing silver crystal energy to revive them after their very abrupt departures earlier.

aesmael: (writing things down)

Act 8 Minako, Sailor V

Ongoing storyyyy!!

It feels a bit unfair to the existing cast to have Minako / Sailor V show up to announce she’s the princess they’ve been assigned to find and protect, and that she’s been keeping a hidden training eye on them the whole time. Especially that she’s already taken care of hiding away the ‘Legendary Silver Crystal’ that’s so important, too. She is gracious and princessly though, taking time to greet our heroes and commend them on their fine achievements so far.

I suppose if Luna was unaware of all this and was directing them sincerely that isn’t so bad. But, it comes across like much of what has happened so far has been misdirected, chasing shadow goals.

Of course I originally read this whole volume on a train ride and what’s actually going on (assuming there isn’t yet another retrospective recasting later) is fairly clear to see. Especially if you already watched some of the old anime adaptation as a child.

But now I am taking some time to dwell on this chapter by itself and I can’t decide. If I had been reading this in its original serialisation as it came out, would I have been bothered by these developments pulling story out from under me? Or would I have been excited at how it twists and turns and promises future adventure and development?

P.S. In looking up for the previous chapter to be sure ‘The Four Kings of Heaven’ was the correct term of reference I found that according to Wikipedia at least ‘Queen Metalia’ is an early mistranslation and officially it should be Queen Metaria[1]. Assuming that is the case I shall strive to use the correct name henceforth; I don’t know why this 2011 translation would preserve an error like that, except perhaps cultural inertia.

[1] What might be more difficult for me is not consistently misspelling this as ‘Materia’.

aesmael: (tricicat)

Act 7: Mamoru Chiba, Tuxedo Mask

Usagi, holding up Tuxedo Mask’s glasses in his room:

"Why didn’t I notice before?"

In fact I could have sworn she had noticed before, except flipping back through the first volume this does not appear to be the case.

And she has fallen for him so haaard. I suppose, narratively speaking, this is the point where the characters reveal and discover the strength of their feelings for each other before circumstances of drama conspire to keep them apart. The long journey before their love can be fully manifested into their lives.

Thinking thoughts about how to construct a romance story and where the tension comes from.

And of course at this point his identity, background and motivations remain still hidden even to himself. Especially because Luna has been keeping information from the protagonists to dole out at whatever time is deemed appropriate.

Queen Metalia! Up to this point, pretty sure I believed Queen Beryl was the apex villain here, answering to no one. So that was a shock.

Bit odd having a queen serving a queen, but I suppose the real world throws up such oddities too? The actual exchange between them puts me in mind of Volyova waking the Captain to consult with him in Revelation Space.

Now that Queen Beryl has been revealed as having a greater evil she serves there is room for her to develop an inner monologue, room for her to contemplate regret and the conflicts of her own desires and perceived destiny.

That this story again continues directly on from the previous one makes me feel like it is finally moving, as if we have gotten beyond the introductory phase and onto more ongoing narrative.

At this point suspicion should be encouraged of any new craze or institution suddenly springing up in the city. It’s also a bit worrying how everything gets worse when Ami tries to analyse the videotape at the game centre. The horde of mind-controlled people is quite scary , although cured and dispersed with the typical ease of the story so far.

Inducement of the general populace to do ill in Sailor Moon seems to be like a fog of the mind, and shine a bright enough light it will disperse quickly, because people for the most part are decent and not willing to serve evil ends.

I had been meaning to remark on how swiftly and easily the Four Kings of Heaven were getting killed off in each of their confrontations, but it has been growing less so on each occasions. In this case he seemed - I did not find the story clear on which this was - he seemed quite tough and unable to be done in by the three who were there to face him. Until of course Sailor Venus shows up to defeat him in a dramatic cliffhanger reveal at the very end, right when she is finally needed.

Plotful in motion!

aesmael: (transformation)

Act 6: Tuxedo Mask

So that’s the whole group now? And Usagi is pleased and surprised to be announced the leader despite that she has been leading them through several chapters now.

"The Moon Stick is a new item. It is sure to aid you in your battles with the enemy. I’ll teach you how to use it later."

No, Luna. Surely you should teach her how to use it approximately now? That just seems like begging for trouble when something comes up before Usagi has learned to use it.

Intro has shifted from describing Usagi as her regular self to describing the Sailor Scouts as a group. But I suppose this story is also different in following directly on from the previous chapter rather than an indeterminate number of days later like the others had been.

Mamoru Chiba shirtless by a big plate window drinking from a bottle. Reckon that’s meant to be a spot of enjoyment but with the art style doesn’t quite do anything for me (much cuter when he’s calling Usagi bunhead a couple of pages on >__>). A bit weird for Makoto to be teasing her for having an interest in multiple guys when unseriousness in love and lack of monogamous intention was such a hot button for her last chapter.

Found the action and art in this difficult to follow again at the climax. Feels a bit tensed and rushed, maybe? Or maybe I am reflecting my own feelings reading it. And the resolution felt abrupt too, just activate the Moon Stick and the day is saved.

I suppose that is not the real climax, however. The real climax is Tuxedo Mask revealing he knows who Usagi is and then her waking up in his apartment with him as Mamoru Chiba, thereby finally ending the tension of their not knowing each others’ dual identities. I shan’t be missing that.

aesmael: (friendly)

Act 5: Makoto, Sailor Jupiter


So I was right that ominous storm at the end of the previous meant the coming of Sailor Jupiter.

Still with Usagi introducing herself at the beginning of each chapter.

I found the art and story confusing to follow in this one. Had to look hard a few times to be almost sure that was Makoto who pushed Usagi out of traffic, and who Usagi was mooning over right after. And I had no clue until rereading to write this that she also later saved Usagi from a stray baseball.

Am amused by Sailor Moon’s surprise when Makoto turns out to be one of the team. The getting new people pattern has been running strong so far.

Finding Makoto very appealing, like with Rei. So far her only traits are being tall and strong and courageous I suppose, but those are pretty excellent traits to have. Someone I can potentially identify with.

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aesmael

May 2022

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