The other new order of things

[aesmael]

Pronouns. Those are fun, right? In English we have male and female, plus a whole assortment of others. For a long while I have considered drawing distinctions among those others and systematising their meaning for me - not intended to restrict how others use them, but to devise a system for my own use which would distinguish subtleties of identity.

As yet I have not actually done so. Some people I know have done something of the sort, however, and I have adopted it for my own personal use. Thus, being presented both here and also now.

he	him	his	boyfriend	sir	Mr. (Mister)
zie	zir	zir	personfriend	august	Per. (Goodperson)
ey	em	eir	personfriend	august	Per. (Goodperson)

The second row consists of pronouns used to address persons who do not identify as male or female, while the third row consists of pronouns used to address persons of unknown gender. This system has been internalised as correct to the extent that other uses of these words register to me as incorrect, so I try to remember it is not in widespread usage and thus not correct those who do otherwise.

I tend to want to further distinguish between entities of neutral or no gender and those with gender but not one which is male or female. If I were to do so, I would likely adopt the set ve / ver / vis for this purpose.

As always,
Your Arbiter of Reality,
Per. Fakename, Tyrant

Edit: On a personal note, I have applied all of these terms to myself, and generally prefer not to specify a preference (which... sort of just got phrased as a preference itself). I like that there are people who will address me by female pronouns without prompting and that there are people who do the same for zie. Most of the time I lean more to the female set than the male, having had enough of the latter in my life for the time being, but when making self-reference perform a quick internal check to see which is most applicable in the moment. Sometimes using ey because I do not know. So for me personally, any of these are good except that I tend to avoid the male set in most circumstances.

As a further note, I considered that the use of male as the baseline in that table could be sexist but finally decided to go with it rather than add the extra complication of Ms. / Miss. / Mrs. to the right-uppermost box. I do not like that titles for women are used to code marital status in a way that is not done with men.

Comments

[mantic-angel.livejournal.com]

*bows quietly* Oh great Arbiter Of Reality, why is it you make people suffer are so incredibly awesome?

EDIT: That is not what I wrote! I just wanted to bask in your glory some more.

EDIT 2: Stop that! All hail Grand Arbiter Aesmael, highest of the Angels!

EDIT 3: Bugger this :P YAY FOR PER. FAKENAME!

EDIT 4: Fixed spelling Further worship of Torna O De Youpii

EDIT 5: Fixed grammar of Torna O Youpii It was correct all along.

EDIT 6: ... no :D

[pazi-ashfeather.livejournal.com]

There really was cake...

[farsideofewan.livejournal.com]

i generally find that using they or them in unknown gender situations suffices and partner is my non distinct term for person of interest in anothers life. As for Mr Ive been droping titles from names for most of my life but if we have to have them can't we have san like the japanese

[taraxoxo.livejournal.com]

That's a good idea. But I generally use 'they/them' for everyone unless it is known or likely they'd prefer otherwise. I feel that they/them are more likely to be uptaken as they are part of the standard English vocabulary.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

Most 'official' correspondence here in the UK now actually uses 'Ms' and nothing else although option boxes still give all three. I've always found it easiest to answer to Ms, Miss or Mrs but prefer to use Ms even though I'm married. 'Ms' was, of course, intended to address this problem, albeit somewhat clumsily.

The Quakers (I am one myself) have always avoided using titles of this sort as a social leveller- just first or full names, so I'd be addressed as Chiara by Friends and Chiara Castelnuovo-McKenzie in correspondence. I think this a really great idea :o)