As I Was A-Walking In The Neighbourhood

[aesmael]

I had to go out for a spot of job-hunting today. On my way back I encountered Christians. Well, I think they were Christians. One guy was holding what looked to be a Bible, cupping his hands and yelling about Jesus. There was a woman standing behind him holding a large sign saying something about the lake of fire and who goes in and a man in front of them handing out pamphlets to passersby. I took one of course.

I suppose there is not much to be expected from a tiny four page photocopy. It basically says:

• You and all humans are pathetic failure who do not deserve to exist and have earned torture in a lake of fire
• A long time ago someone named Jesus died on our behalf but not really and this did some unexplained magic thing which makes a place called heaven accessible
• If you believe this and grovel appropriately something called 'God' will not torture you in fire after you die

It sounds vaguely frightening and nonsensical but fortunately the pamphlet doesn't provide any reason to think this stuff is true.

Comments

[udonman.livejournal.com]

Ahh to bad you didnt play around with there silly belief structure I bet with the right amount of time you could have had them praying to you.

[krank-kether.livejournal.com]

hmm... intriguing. what is this "god" thing exactly?

[chaoticset.livejournal.com]

Reprint a better pamphlet and bring it with you, then hand it out with them! :D

[coniferous_you]

I was assaulted by these shady characters once. This is when fake names and interesting, yet untrue, life stories come in.

"Greetings, what is your name?"

"Oh it's Virginia."

"Virginia? That's a nice name."

"No it's not. I hate it. It's a goofy name."

"No one is goofy in the eyes of God."

"If by "no one", you mean "everyone". God ia a fun-lovin' guy. What about all of those fun things he did in the Bible? What about that bet he made with Satan? That's was fun."

"No. There is none. God is not fun."

"Maybe you just need a waterslide."

"Take our pamphlets! We will go to your house!"

"Sorry, but I'm an illegal squatter so having people over it just wrong."


Lake of Fire?! That seems like an oddly detailed description of Hell. Maybe they're BOTH the reincarnation of Dante.

[lost-angelwings.livejournal.com]

Christians are funny :O

But I'm also a Christian... but maybe I'm funny in a good way? :D