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Last night I realised that I might be better able to sleep if I had a lamp by the side of my bed. Then I could alleviate some anxiety by being able to turn light off or on without having to walk across to the far side of my room. It would be an easy way to feel safer when fearful thoughts come upon me, especially if I also kept a book by my bedside for distractive reading. Or something to settle down with awhile before I sleep.
My mother is not the best with mental health issues, and when I tried to explain my idea that a lamp might help me get to sleep before sunrise she pointed out I am nearly 25 and not a baby, but she did offer to help procure a lamp (mostly I wanted to know if we had one already I might use, or if the broken one I'd had under my bed before the Great Room-Cleaning could be repaired). I had thought my family rather aware of the importance of mental healthcare and facilities, but perhaps I'd be more accurate in saying they know the importance of locking people away from society so society is not bothered.
And I should learn to stop trying to tell people of the small triumphs I get pleased about; most don't care and it just opens me up to criticism or being reminded of past shortcomings. That, and to articulate myself better. I'd not wanted to describe exactly why I want a lamp but if I'd done better maybe the response would have been better too.
My mother is not the best with mental health issues, and when I tried to explain my idea that a lamp might help me get to sleep before sunrise she pointed out I am nearly 25 and not a baby, but she did offer to help procure a lamp (mostly I wanted to know if we had one already I might use, or if the broken one I'd had under my bed before the Great Room-Cleaning could be repaired). I had thought my family rather aware of the importance of mental healthcare and facilities, but perhaps I'd be more accurate in saying they know the importance of locking people away from society so society is not bothered.
And I should learn to stop trying to tell people of the small triumphs I get pleased about; most don't care and it just opens me up to criticism or being reminded of past shortcomings. That, and to articulate myself better. I'd not wanted to describe exactly why I want a lamp but if I'd done better maybe the response would have been better too.
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 13:31 (UTC)From:Those people are jerks. I love hearing about your small triumphs, and I'm sure many of your other friends do too.
*hugs*
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Date: 2009-02-19 17:23 (UTC)From:I sometimes sleep with all my lights on...sometimes it is the only way I can sleep. Sometimes darkness is what I need. Find what you need, regardless of your mother's heckling.