Caught in passing

[aesmael]

Just came back from watching Quantum of Solace with my sister and saw the end of an episode of Ghost Whisperer.

This one seemed to be about getting a mother to accept that her constant criticism of her daughter's appearance had driven her to the plastic surgery. Was annoyed the blame seemed heaped entirely on the mother and no acknowledgement of other relevant social pressures (but I only saw the end so maybe...) but what I am writing about is what happened after they saved the day.

The lead and her presumed boyfriend were snuggled up together in bed, talking about helping out ghosts. The lead said this one was easy on the eyes, the guy agreed. Then there was a pause in the momentum of the scene and she turned to look at him. He said something like "But the most beautiful woman in my life is right here."

It struck me that perceived physical attractiveness is promoted as a gauge for how well a woman is liked. It seems like, despite the ostensible message of this episode it carries another: that perceived physical beauty is the measure of a man's fondness for her and that women must be reassured no one else is seen as more physically attractive by their partner in order to feel secure in his love.

Comments

[kimberamber.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the world atlarge.

[aesmael.livejournal.com]

I dislike the phrasing "Welcome to X" a great deal. Even if well-meaning it always feels very condescending to me, as if the person it is addressed to has only just realised the world or aspects of it are not all wonderful and must learn to 'suck it up' with a world-weary sigh.

Life ain't fair? We know that.

And... we do realise others see it as an affirmation of solidarity, but I can't see it as anything except another let-down from someone who might have been sympathetic.

[aesmael.livejournal.com]

What I'd like to add is, I'm pretty sure you meant nothing but well by your comment... it just happened to feature a phrase which irritates me a great deal.

[kimberamber.livejournal.com]

Sorry. Could be worse. I only wish we cared more about the person than the looks unfortunatly we are run on our eyes before anything else.

[pazi-ashfeather.livejournal.com]

Also find it frustrating that the desire for plastic surgery is seen as inherently wrong. "Why would you change yourself? It is dishonest -- anyone you meet after would see a deception, not the real you." A sentiment I don't understand. Surely if said people were mangled horribly in accidents, they would want reconstructive surgery? Oh, but that is just "setting things right", it's okay to alter a person's form or appearance if you bring them back to status quo...

Sometimes I think the scariest thing, for these people, about any form of plastic surgery must be the notion that in fact you can change, that maybe once you did change, that they might not be able to tell. I wonder at the kind of mind that is eaten alive by such fears...

Also the scene you describe baffles. The lesson: "If your significant other even possibly suggests the most abstract form of attraction towards anyone/anything other than you, create social pressure for them to say something overblown and somewhat meaningless; if they do, everything is alright."

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

You hit some important points here. Speaking has one who has had major plastic surgery but in such a place as it is only visible to myself and these days, to my lover, but yet was life affirming and totally life changing, I know what you mean. That surgery was entirely for me and to deal with my physiological needs; the fact it gives pleasure to another is an additional bonus. It worries me not at all that other people can't tell. In fact, that's another bonus! :o)

[chaoticset.livejournal.com]

True.

[mantic-angel.livejournal.com]

Huh, rather true. Never thought about it that way, but I think this is a rather valid point.

*hugs* Thank you for pointing this out :)