aesmael

Originally published at a denizen's entertainment. You can comment here or there.

Got my first shift tomorrow, so I am very nervous. Probably will keep being so nervous until after I am done, and perhaps a while beyond that too. Because I have never had paid employment before and I am scared scared scared of messing it up somehow.

Of course so many others manage it, so presumably this is something doable. Not much to do about it. I expect I'll calm down after experiencing that... well, after I hopefully manage to not make a mess of everything. Ya, really don't know what to say here - am not aiming for any particular response - just expressing, I suppose, that I am starting my first actual paid job tomorrow and that I am very nervous about this. This tends to happen before any big new or significant thing in my life (e.g. commencement of study, exams, learning to use a cash register, other things I am forgetting the specifics of?). So I am not nervous about being nervous, if that makes sense. I don't feel like that will be a problem in itself, except that such feelings of strong tension are unpleasant in themselves, and perhaps that others might... mark me down? so to speak, if they read it in my body language.

At my last student placement, doing similar work to what I expect to do in this position, I found the work intense and stressful, but I felt good about it. So I believe from experience I can handle this. Might just end up giggling, decompressing all the way back home after.

Alright, done. Need to sleep tonight, get up early and be prepared beforehand. Probably it will go fine. If it does not, then things will proceed as they do.