On stiffness and wary gazelle

My shoulders are sore because I have been doing push-ups, today and yesterday, and hadn't been doing anything active for some long time previous. My body has been wanting to be used, but I have long felt a bit nervous about this whole exercise thing.

See, I am quite unfit. Inactive. Strenuous and even non-strenuous activities can easily put me out of breath. I would like to become fit. However... that bothers me as a goal. I worry that, without some concrete definition of 'fit' to strive for, or even with one, whenever I get there I would set the bar a bit higher still and incrementally work my way into decidedly unhealthy territory without realising.

There are two reasons I do not exercise more. One is regular, familiar inertia. That resistance to getting started which feels silly after the fact. The other reason is I don't know how to stop. I don't know how to guarantee to myself not to keep whispering 'just a little more' every time I reach a goal, or to recognise a point sufficient for any reasonable need I will have. Perhaps that would make itself obvious on encountering.

Still, for years I have been wary of incrementing myself to death. There are other areas I keep doing it in.

Yes, this probably counts

There's a thing about executive functioning issues often associated with autism. And I've noticed my hygiene doesn't seem to be taking care of itself. Sleeping too. I thought I could manage those since I seemed to go okay when I was younger.

I don't know, but I've identified two factors which, being addressed, should help with this a great deal. One is making time specifically for these necessary activities, the other is disengaging from what I am doing when those times come up to go deal with the scheduled important thing instead. Because I like being clean, and well rested, I just keep forgetting to make those happen.

The second part... I don't know how to make happen yet. Am hoping a mere conscious choice to put aside and do will suffice. As for the first part, that's a bit easier, and why my personal calendar is going to be for a while experimentally marked with such peculiar instructions as 'shower'.