aesmael

It's enough to make one (this one) pause for thought. I like talking about my writing here. Writing about what is going on with it, thoughts prompted by projects whether technical or otherwise. I like rambling about writing.

So? We-ell... (oh we do indeed have our habits of speech) some amount of my fiction output these days is erotica. Actually it seems to get a bit more positive response than the rest, but to be fair that's been getting quicker production and more exposure than other stuff for a while now. I have not been sharing most of the other stuff I wrote or am writing, and that was a bit of a surprise to realise. Larger projects those, I suppose, but that is not just now the topic.

No, what we're wondering about is where 'talking about my writing' and 'writing erotica' intersect and what to do there. I have a vague sense that writing such things is frowned upon, considered a bit shameful and lesser. More even than fanfiction, which I've been a bit defiantly open about when actively working on. Hm. Knot here. How to weave those thoughts in a pleasing, well-shaped way?

There's a bit of a sense of it being looked down upon, although this might be a mistaken impression, or only partly correct. Still, what if I am in a position as a writer where I feel pressured to make invisible any such history in the name of respectability? Or if I later feel something like ashamed of such endeavours and want to vanish them? This internet of ours has a long memory and what has been public tends to stay public. So it is not very revocable as decisions go.

Then I ought to be cautious before writing about those writings, yes? But I am increasingly drifting from the goal of being an 'established, respected author'. Seeing that less and less as something to aim for and instead desiring more to take enjoyment in my writing itself, not so much seeking even the vindication of official publication by a proper paying publishing house. My main worry is how the quality of my output might perhaps be hurt by having no outside editor.

There is a sense of erotica being regarded as shameful or lesser arising from wider cultural issues with sexuality. The sort that say sexuality is dirty (and therefore bad), or harmful, or, yes, shameful. If sex were something widely celebrated or (imagine!) comfortable would stories focusing on it for enjoyment be attached with a stigma such that we'd feel pressure to distance ourselves from writing them, to make them secret so as not to diminish ourselves in the eyes of others?

Then I'd think that a reason to go ahead and be open, ignore those pressures as much as I can. Mainly because I think so much shame and derision about sex is culturally unhealthy and why should I go along with that if I do not have to? Maybe from fear of personal social consequences. Not a, let's say not a noble reason, though I hesitate about possible connotations of that word, but that would be a reason. See something, think it bad, go along with it because of fearing what might happen. Not, you know, that I think The Man would come and shut me down, but some people might be mean, hey.

There is a bit of worry that to talk about erotica as part of my writing means also of necessity to make my own sex life and sexuality public. I'm not immune to social pressure. Whether it is good or bad or just a thing, I don't want to, don't feel comfortable being so completely open about that. Maybe this discomfort will change later but I don't assume so. That makes it a bit of a line to take care with. It suggests that if I do talk in a public way about writing erotica I'd probably want to focus more on the technical aspects than discussion of content... then again, content is not necessarily a betrayal of things I'd rather keep private, as I do write for others too and I-

Well. Really it seems to me the sensible approach so far as erotica is concerned is to write about it as I would any other of my writing, particular approaches and considerations suggested by the genre aside. Hesitance to do so seems born more of cultural shame and stigma than any reason I'd claim more worthy of weight, and where that overlaps with privacy is a range to be navigated as it is for any other area in which we might do so. And that's where we've come to so far.