aesmael

This list of traits characteristic of Asperger's Syndrome was taken from this post and sorted into those I think apply to me, those I think do not, and those which I really do not know if yes or no, with personal notes added in brackets. The list appears to have been compiled from these three sites, although I do not know how this was done.

Characteristics Shared

* Difficulty with fine motor control, eg. poor handwriting (there were several attempts when I was younger to correct my handwriting and grip, none of which seem to have taken effect. beyond that it seems generally of some difficulty, although I always attributed this to lack of practice)
* Hypersensitivity to touch (*shivers* Memories of screaming, of pain. Not so bad now except occasionally and especially when it is triggered by a compulsive action. This is a sometimes and normally a specific thing. Fortunately uncommon.)
* Literalism. Difficulty determining when people are being serious and when people are joking/being figurative. (Not always. Often enough to be embarrassing, especially as it happens most often when I am relaxed and no longer watchful of everyone's words.)
* Difficulty discerning when someone is done talking or listening, so a tendency to talk about subjects too long or to interrupt people (If there is more than one other person in a conversation I tend to either be silent because I cannot tell when is an appropriate time for me to speak, or else interrupt for the same reason. Also, yes to the point as written)
* Face-blindness (This seems more likely as time passes)
* Stimming, hand-flapping, etc. (Only recently been becoming aware of the extent to which I do this, even when I would have thought otherwise. Mostly subdued and I only intermittently get scolded for this now. The more stressed I am, the more visible it seems to become, makes me think I am normally working to restrain and this falters under strain,)
* Preference for routines. Difficulty adapting to sudden changes in plans/activities/etc. (If I have no plan I can be somewhat spontaneous, but the common plan 'do nothing' is easy to mistake from the outside for 'no plan')
* Tendency to say what I'm thinking regardless of how it might affect someone else emotionally. (I work hard to not do this but it still happens a lot)
* Difficulty discerning what is polite vs. what is rude. (Also work very hard on this but it is still difficult. Often realise retrospectively, or at least think I do.)
* Repeating songs/quotes constantly, almost involuntarily (Normally disguise this, repeating things with syllables mangled or letters reversed. Otherwise try to suppress. Numerous non-quote spontaneous utterances.)
* Difficulty with physical intimacy, especially knowing when/where it is and is not okay to touch someone else.
* Poor short-term memory. (Frequently have to pause to remember why I am in a room or what I am doing/trying to do. Often fail to recall.)
* Inappropriate levels of fear about situations. Difficulty discerning when I am "safe" (both excessive fear about things I do not need to fear and feeling safe/comfortablewhen perhaps it is not sensible to do so)
* Perfectionism
* Clumsiness and unusual walking gait
* Sudden "obsessions" with random things.
* Difficulty with fashion sense. (I thought I was doing fairly well with this lately, until my sister informed me it is still very hit and miss. Now that I have clothes I care about they get assembled into standard outfits.)
* Difficulty with time concepts. I have a poor sense of time most of the time.
* Extremely gullible. (Also extremely suspicious and paranoid, possibly to compensate.)
* Propensity for formal language.
* Monotone voice. (Another thing I have been working on, think has mostly improved. If I do not bother with it people tend to think I am upset or angry with them.)
* Poor eye contact. (I have little clue how well I manage this these days, but I seldom get complaints unless I am in a distressed state and not able to handle even faking it.)
* Difficulty at small talk. (Frequently bewildering, often marvel at the ability of others to do this. Think I am learning but it remains difficult and often would rather not bother.)
* Inability to make friends and/or start relationships. (I had no friends from 2001 - 2006 and possibly only acquaintances in high school before that. This seems to have changed though,)
* Dramatic emotional meltdowns. (Intermittently, perhaps. Unsure if those are attributable to something else. Attempt not to be dramatic. Cautious probing indicates this is something tremendously embarrassing to even think about.)
* Hypersensitive to smells, tastes, temperatures, and sounds. (Unsure about hypersensitive. There are a number of things [including colours] which can niggle at me in a persistent way which others do not seem to experience - the babble of a group of people breaking up [the end of a class, frex] can be quite distressing to me.)
* Difficulty with inflection and tone of voice. (As with monotone, above. I have been working to sound more expressive and think I have mostly succeeded, but still often sound fake and insincere to my own ears.)
* Fixation on a single subject or object. (It happens from time to time, although demands on my time often require this be given up before satisfaction is reached [if ever it would be])

Maybe

* Frequent bewilderment at what people are trying to say.
* Difficulty maintaining friendships/relationships.
* Desire for comfort objects, like stuffed animals, blankets, etc. (I was made to give up my stuffed animals in my early teens and still miss them. I am not sure I engage in such behaviour now, but think it may be a felt absence and contributor to lack of feeling safety/comfort/etc.)

Not personally applicable

* Pronoun reversal. (Seems to happen as a consequence of transgender involvement, where it can be common, rather than anything else.)
* Narrow interest set. (If it is narrow, I do not recognise the criteria which define it. Seems broad to me. But then, I feel I must become expert in everything.)

Will also add that if my interest is captured, whether by person or subject or something else, I tend to forget to eat or sleep or go to the bathroom. Getting better at looking after myself and better by far than when younger.