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November was a big month for me, I think. I did post 96 entries to this journal, although I do not know how it compares to previous months. November 12th was a big day for me though, or at least the evening of the 11th. I remember that, though my wretched time sense sweeps away so many details.
Perhaps it is foolish of me to write a retrospective post when I do not actually recall many details of the past month. What I do recall, I shall not say, for it is too personal. I do not feel as if I have made any progress, exactly, but possibly enough wounds have been reopened that I can in the future.
I need some space to think. It is my intention to drop away from the internet as much as I can for the next few days and see if I can find some room in here for myself.
In more concrete news, I wrote 184 new words of my sekrit projekt on the 23rd of November. This is also the night on which I watched Haibane Renmei, which counts as a significant event in the past month. It was a disappointing output because I only wrote two-thirds of what I was intending to and I had been meaning to write that and more on the 22nd, except I turned out to be in too much pain to concentrate that day. Ah well. Not used to it, that's my excuse. Well, I finally finished the remaining 149 words of that part last night, and would have liked to get to the next today except I found myself caught up in administrative tasks. Also, someone has set the 'rate of flow of time' dial too high.
I did manage to write a total of 10,589 words last month which, while far short of 50,000, is still 4,589 more than my personal target for the month. Now in December to keep up my plan my daily target is increased from 200 to 300 words, for a total of 9,300 in the month.
This is the point at which my plan of increase has broken down every single time so far, so I am nervous. Since I only wrote 149 words yesterday, I need to maintain an average for the rest of the month of 305 words daily to make my target. Should be able to make it since I had that many words in sixteen days last month, but last month was slightly crazy.
I miss writing but, even though my time is technically my own for the next couple of months (although I shall also be looking for work), I am afraid there will not be time for it. Too much needs to be done and my creative heart feels dead whenever I sit down to use it.
To continue even when words are ash, that is perhaps a lesson I need to learn.
Here is a graph, because everyone loves graphs:
You can guess what it is a graph of yourself because I know you kids enjoy that sort of thing.
Perhaps it is foolish of me to write a retrospective post when I do not actually recall many details of the past month. What I do recall, I shall not say, for it is too personal. I do not feel as if I have made any progress, exactly, but possibly enough wounds have been reopened that I can in the future.
I need some space to think. It is my intention to drop away from the internet as much as I can for the next few days and see if I can find some room in here for myself.
In more concrete news, I wrote 184 new words of my sekrit projekt on the 23rd of November. This is also the night on which I watched Haibane Renmei, which counts as a significant event in the past month. It was a disappointing output because I only wrote two-thirds of what I was intending to and I had been meaning to write that and more on the 22nd, except I turned out to be in too much pain to concentrate that day. Ah well. Not used to it, that's my excuse. Well, I finally finished the remaining 149 words of that part last night, and would have liked to get to the next today except I found myself caught up in administrative tasks. Also, someone has set the 'rate of flow of time' dial too high.
I did manage to write a total of 10,589 words last month which, while far short of 50,000, is still 4,589 more than my personal target for the month. Now in December to keep up my plan my daily target is increased from 200 to 300 words, for a total of 9,300 in the month.
This is the point at which my plan of increase has broken down every single time so far, so I am nervous. Since I only wrote 149 words yesterday, I need to maintain an average for the rest of the month of 305 words daily to make my target. Should be able to make it since I had that many words in sixteen days last month, but last month was slightly crazy.
I miss writing but, even though my time is technically my own for the next couple of months (although I shall also be looking for work), I am afraid there will not be time for it. Too much needs to be done and my creative heart feels dead whenever I sit down to use it.
To continue even when words are ash, that is perhaps a lesson I need to learn.
Here is a graph, because everyone loves graphs:
| |
149 / 9,300 (1.6%) |
You can guess what it is a graph of yourself because I know you kids enjoy that sort of thing.
