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More than once recently I have been prompted to consider: what am I proud of in my life?
I have not found anything yet. There are conventional achievements, academic awards in school, but that was the minimum standard I expected of myself and it has been a long time since it was met.
Problem is, pride is not something I think to take except briefly, momentarily. I believe it would be advantageous for me to find things in which to take long-term pride. Ways in which to feel good about myself and my life.
I do not expect it will be easy. Anything I do or find within my capabilities I tend to devalue, so only things I cannot do and have not done are seen as impressive or worthwhile. Trying to think of things I might do and think well of myself for having done is of similar difficulty to thinking back. Pride in myself though seen as desirable seems fairly alien to me. There are things I want to do, however, which I can see as being the sort of things people might well feel proud of doing so I am working to find some sense of achievement in them. Life ain't much fun when nothing you've done is worth your own smile.
Click. And here while writing comes brought along a reminder, unexpected light that pride is there to be found in things we do.
I do wonder if there are things I am proud of and do not realise, And I wonder if the lack of finding things past is that I really have not done anything worthwhile in my life, but it would be easier to do something in the future than to answer that question definitively.
This post is being written as a reminder to myself, that this is no new resolution, an ongoing goal in progress. See good in yourself and what you accomplish.
I have not found anything yet. There are conventional achievements, academic awards in school, but that was the minimum standard I expected of myself and it has been a long time since it was met.
Problem is, pride is not something I think to take except briefly, momentarily. I believe it would be advantageous for me to find things in which to take long-term pride. Ways in which to feel good about myself and my life.
I do not expect it will be easy. Anything I do or find within my capabilities I tend to devalue, so only things I cannot do and have not done are seen as impressive or worthwhile. Trying to think of things I might do and think well of myself for having done is of similar difficulty to thinking back. Pride in myself though seen as desirable seems fairly alien to me. There are things I want to do, however, which I can see as being the sort of things people might well feel proud of doing so I am working to find some sense of achievement in them. Life ain't much fun when nothing you've done is worth your own smile.
Click. And here while writing comes brought along a reminder, unexpected light that pride is there to be found in things we do.
I do wonder if there are things I am proud of and do not realise, And I wonder if the lack of finding things past is that I really have not done anything worthwhile in my life, but it would be easier to do something in the future than to answer that question definitively.
This post is being written as a reminder to myself, that this is no new resolution, an ongoing goal in progress. See good in yourself and what you accomplish.
