2007-12-16

aesmael: (haircut)
    So, right now I am feeling rather lousy. Not because I have not written 'enough' words (do not know yet) but because I was writing a scene from a certain character's perspective and I became suddenly convinced she was coming across as autistic. Do I have to say there is nothing wrong with an autistic viewpoint character? I should not. The problem is that this was not my intention and yet it is what I wrote and it stirs in me fear that I cannot write convincingly from another perspective.
    It might be that I have discovered something new about the character and it might be that I need to rewrite this scene and it might be that no one else will notice such a thing and I only did because she struck a certain level of 'like me'. And maybe that itself is reason enough to rewrite. Whatever the answer it is unlikely I will make any deliberate alteration to her because I am not interested in telling this story without her.
    Never mind that. This is about me setting out to write an outing with friends and giving them only cursory attention, concentrating instead on technical aspects of a work of art. It is an established part of her personality to keep friend's discussions private and to be fascinated by such things, yet if she were otherwise I may not have been able to write this scene at all. I suspect my difficulty with conversation was one of the motivating factors for her tendency not to report on it.
    I feel confident saying dialogue is where my writing most falls down. Most of my best (judged by me)  pieces avoid conversation as much as possible. I really feel as if I do not understand how people relate to each other in ordinary conversation and when I try you get sarcastic, snarky venom such as in the one part of my Epic Fantasy I have posted so far.
    What I am afraid of is being unable to understand communication between other people well enough to write it with skill. If I am restricted to being able to write characters who are 'like me' I am severely restricted in what I can do as a writer.
    At least I know I need to work especially on dialogue. Perhaps it will even lead to a better understanding of people overall. I am tempted to attempt a play as a work focused highly dialogue, although perhaps someone more knowledgeable will tell me plays are distorted too and not the place to look to learn speech. And if I did, do I go in blind or attempt to learn the form first? I think it would be more fun to not know what I am doing at first and discover later what should have been done.
    I wonder how much implication I could get away with to keep the sets as simple and manageable as possible?

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aesmael

May 2022

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