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Last night? Didn't happen
The night before last, I ended up not sleeping. This hampered my plans for writing yesterday. Fortunately I did get some words out of my previous sleepless night, including the final ones of the story. Now I just have to build for them a place to go.
It does feel as if yesterday did not happen, as if a period of time was removed from my life. Not that I am making any accusations, but this is why I want to say "Yesterday, I was surprised to realise..." when a more accurate phrasing would be "Two days ago...". But isn't that just an awkward phrasing? Doesn't flow or feel right at all.
Yesterday, I was surprised to realise how much I have been writing this month. Well, I say 'this month,' but the period in question slips into October too. These things are fuzzy. I was surprised to realise how much I have been writing this month, considering these past few weeks have included what currently feel like some of the worst experiences of my life.
It did not seem at the time like I was writing so much. I have still been having the same struggling to get started as before, but after a hundred or so words until I realise I have consistently been doing significantly more than I would normally have to struggle for. A lot of the lower totals are coming from a lack of distraction-avoidance, I think, as well as occasionally realising I do need to sleep rather than not-write. And this month has included probably two of the three writingest days of my life, certainly since I started counting, and even including the time before that they are almost certainly among the best days of it I have had. There have been higher totals marked but those were often achieved by transcribing longhand stories, which is sort of like cheating.
I still suspect this is helped by focusing on a single story at a time, even if I still get excited about others and want to write those too.
Epic Fantasy
Edit: I suppose I have a bit of a problem with sleep. I keep pushing myself to stay up late and find things to do so I do not have to sleep. At least in part because I keep feeling like I have not done enough to justify rest and leaving the day incomplete, like I need to do and accomplish more or else the day was wasted or over too soon. Another part is just not wanting to sleep. Even when I do not have nightmares (I very rarely have nightmares, certainly less often than I live them waking) my dreams are typically unsettling, disturbing. I don't like sleeping if that is what I have to face when I do.
It does feel as if yesterday did not happen, as if a period of time was removed from my life. Not that I am making any accusations, but this is why I want to say "Yesterday, I was surprised to realise..." when a more accurate phrasing would be "Two days ago...". But isn't that just an awkward phrasing? Doesn't flow or feel right at all.
Yesterday, I was surprised to realise how much I have been writing this month. Well, I say 'this month,' but the period in question slips into October too. These things are fuzzy. I was surprised to realise how much I have been writing this month, considering these past few weeks have included what currently feel like some of the worst experiences of my life.
It did not seem at the time like I was writing so much. I have still been having the same struggling to get started as before, but after a hundred or so words until I realise I have consistently been doing significantly more than I would normally have to struggle for. A lot of the lower totals are coming from a lack of distraction-avoidance, I think, as well as occasionally realising I do need to sleep rather than not-write. And this month has included probably two of the three writingest days of my life, certainly since I started counting, and even including the time before that they are almost certainly among the best days of it I have had. There have been higher totals marked but those were often achieved by transcribing longhand stories, which is sort of like cheating.
I still suspect this is helped by focusing on a single story at a time, even if I still get excited about others and want to write those too.
Epic Fantasy
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11,298 + 577 (5.1% more) |
Edit: I suppose I have a bit of a problem with sleep. I keep pushing myself to stay up late and find things to do so I do not have to sleep. At least in part because I keep feeling like I have not done enough to justify rest and leaving the day incomplete, like I need to do and accomplish more or else the day was wasted or over too soon. Another part is just not wanting to sleep. Even when I do not have nightmares (I very rarely have nightmares, certainly less often than I live them waking) my dreams are typically unsettling, disturbing. I don't like sleeping if that is what I have to face when I do.