aesmael: (tricicat)
Mainly that I at last was assessed at my placement and came out better than had been my expectation, a tremendous relief. Even to say as happened last time with different person that I might proceed into the full librarian degree.

Very surprisingly to me, was rated quite competent. I thought I had been passable at best. If this keeps up, may have to accept a reassessment of myself as 'not entirely incapable / worthless'. That could be nice.

Still, that assessment aside there are still some things which need to be taken care of before I am done. Two last days at placement. A final cataloguing exam next week. Two last assignments to be turned in. It is mainly the assignments I worry about, am stressed by. Assignments have never been something I handled well, so if I fall down anywhere it will be there.

We hope, hope.
aesmael: (tricicat)
On the day itself it was uncertain, would there a honeymoon be? The answer turned out yes, so from this morning to unknown we've a house minus two of its major regular occupants.

I'd messed up sleeping again last night, so had only three hours rest and still was late to class. Came in halfway through test, fortunately still passed and fortunately was only practice. Still, important to show, and learned some things which will be helpful for next week's real test.

In the afternoon our class is indexing and producing abstracts. So far only the indexing, producing from newspaper articles lists of relevant terms for it to be found under in searching. I approach this from the view of a mystery story, and try to mark terms which would be helpful if someone were investigating a mystery or following a series of clues: if I were investigating something related to [potential indexing term], might this resource be useful if it showed up?

We did a practice test which went well, although I feel more uncertain of this subject still than most. Also found out where we would be having the next placement, which is starting next week. Is actually the science and technology library at the university where I was studying astronomy, the library I spent a lot of time in researching for assignments. Also it turns out Q has been assigned to the other library at the campus, the one with all the literature and humanities. I talked with her a bit about ways to get there by public transport since she wasn't very familiar with that particular university. Might offer transport, depending how things work out.

Went and fed dogs, they did not seem interested in eating. Ninja cat has finished testing nomming tools, has now moved on to evaluation of rocketpaws. Am very impressed with Monroe's patience, for not snarling or snapping at him as he gnaws on her legs and leaps at her face, and the frequent pouncing attempts.

Was intending to do some writing too, but had not much sleep. Going to get some soonish, tomorrow call contact person and find out what hours they want me to show, etc.
aesmael: (tricicat)
(17:24:03) CelestialJayde: Halp! Cat on my 1ke9y088888'
(17:24:06) CelestialJayde: 0
(17:24:10) CelestialJayde: =
(17:24:17) Pazi: *giggly*
(17:24:29) Pazi: Kitten, stop being on the keyboard!
(17:25:43) CelestialJayde: Gone for now, but seems to be his favourite place.
(17:26:05) CelestialJayde: Also he tr=ies to eat my fingers
(17:26:28) Pazi: That is an important part of a kitten's diet.
(17:28:22) CelestialJayde: Control regained.

Yesterday was fun. And decision made for me, about whether to address resume or bank first, via the miracle of homework.

Talking with Q on break, we considered the possibility the returning teacher was not actually her but something which wore her body or appearance and decided that would only justify leaving if the lesson both went off the rails and failed to be interesting, but otherwise discontinuity of teacher identity was not reason to leave. Unless she were a zombie, in which case we flee.
aesmael: (transformation)
In a few weeks we have another work placement. The last one, I felt I struggled at somewhat. Holding it together, timeliness, interaction with staff and students both... it wasn't easy remembering the protocols for putting people at ease and doing the job and I'm stumbling over words here but really, holding it together. It strained me, and I have no idea how much that showed, but they did offer me a job.

I am worried, though, because next time I will be assigned to likely a much larger library. That could be advantageous as my role in the organisation will likely be smaller but it could be harder too... they might expect more, there might be more for stumbling over. I'm... quite nervous about tripping up.

On the forms we filled out last year concerning the new placement there was space for us to list any relevant conditions we might have. I hesitated over that a long time, eventually leaving it blank when the forms were collected. I am still wondering now if I should say something to our course supervisor, inform him of my Asperger's Syndrome diagnosis wert this placement, in advance.

Edit: I don't know what I think might come of it, or how it might help me, but I am scared I suppose of how I might mess this up and maybe, maybe if it were known in advance we could work around any problems. But I am scared too of being forced to deal with other people's prejudices and preconceptions and I'd rather avoid... making a list of all the things I want to avoid. I think I will leave this here. The rest... I'd rather not say without criticising that I say and feel it, and this is not the post for that.
aesmael: (sudden sailor)
Got my results back recently. Seems I have at least passed everything (mostly distinctions and most of the rest credits), even some things I thought I had received non-completion for the previous year. Only one was marked as 'withdrawn, no penalty', which puzzled me because I made no application for such. Tends to make me worry I am getting special treatment, which I often fear I am and wonder why that would happen.

Fortunately that class was about basic web design and I did complete the project, just failed to turn it in. So I should be able to address that easily enough (and maybe take the time to improve it a bit too, not satisfied with what I did). And if that works out then I get to graduate after the first semester this year, which hopefully will be a big relief.

I'll actually have qualifications for skilled work and a salary I could support myself with. That's sort of... I am a bit teary-eyed to imagine the prospect; it seems that is something I'd mostly given up thinking of as a possibility. I hope I don't mess it up.
aesmael: (tricicat)
I finished, essentially, one of the ~two assignments I have remaining for this year. The substance of it was little, if tedious, but it is very relieving to have done. Enough that I am posting to celebrate, yes.

Tomorrow, another to give its final submittable form, and an end of the year party with my class to attend. Those are the only urgent things to attend to, but I do need to finalise (refine and format for submission) a third thing by the end of the week too.

Feeling good to have one done, relief that I am managing to stay on track with this. Looking forward to not having these things looming over me.
aesmael: (friendly)
Last night I was up too late writing and consequently was late to class. Fortunately it was mostly a 'showing up and being present' sort of day, so drowsiness was not much of a loss.

New approach this time: start writing before midnight. Also, stop once I reach my target because I need the sleep. Disappointing to be doing so little, but if I take some time to rest I will hopefully be in much better condition for writing (plus those other minor details of life). Besides, if I look away from the whole nano thing a bit, this month is actually off to a very good start for writing.

Epic Fantasy
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meterZokutou word meter
7,166 + 429
(6.0% more)
aesmael: (sudden sailor)

Originally published at a denizen's entertainment. You can comment here or there.

For one of my classes I am tasked with the creation of a bibliography, an extensive document serving as a directory of books, serials and web resources pertaining to a particular subject. More complicated than something for which a simple catalogue search would suffice.

The library whose resources I have chosen to create the bibliography for (it has to be for and using the resources of a particular library) is the Seattle Public Library. The subject I have nominated to cite is resources for building writing and artistic skills.

My actual intention behind this is to create a resource index for aDE, material we can use to study and learn from. Currently the area of material I am investigating is very broad and not especially well defined. It would be helpful if people would nominate particular areas of interest for skill development, or resources they have found useful in the past.

People who are not members of aDE are welcome to participate too. They are certainly welcome to make use of the bibliography once it is done.

aesmael: (transformation)
I wanted to wear a skirt to class yesterday. I did not. Words kept me from it?

Not until I was actually on the grounds and heading to class did I realise "Because I want to" is a perfectly valid reason for a clothing choice. However, this does not quite solve my problem. I am concerned about a matter of 'best practice'.

Plainly, whether I would be better served by giving advance notice to the school and teachers. I suspect this is the case, but I do not know what to say. If I told them I ID as female that would not be a lie but nor would it be true and I do not feel able to say so, any more than I would be able to tell someone I am male.

I suppose I could inform them I am transgender, or genderqueer. They would likely make their own assumptions on that basis and whether they do or not it ought to be sufficient. Taking any label or name to myself makes me uncomfortable but since I believe I would likely receive a more favourable response by giving some sort of advance I will try to go ahead with it.

I have had similar issue with the idea of communicating with my (extended) family. Whether I tell them things or just show up, what do I say? What words do I use? Legally I am fine, I just do not know anything I could say with confidence to people and I think if I did it would go a long way to increasing the positivity of their responses. Especially since without preparation I would likely shut down under questioning, possibly melt down entirely.

It is hard to stand up for yourself when you do not know what you are standing up for.
aesmael: (tricicat)
    Actually, for our last class tomorrow some of the other students thought it would be a good idea for us to have an informal party and have each of us bring some food from our background. Since I am not familiar with with any English or Scottish food that I would think appropriate or want to cook I decided to go with something invented in colonial Australia (even though I have no idea if any of my ancestors were living here at the time. So, today I will be baking lamingtons.
    They have the advantage of being easy too. Small rectangular prisms of sponge cake, coated in chocolate icing and coconut.

    Yesterday I disappointed myself with my writing. I did write 85 words of Discourteous Joe but allowed myself to be distracted and so did not write all of what I had in mind. It was however the first time I recall going back on something I was in the process of writing and altering earlier parts of the text. So that is (probably) good.
    Since I let myself get too tired to do everything I wanted to do with Discourteous Joe last night I finished with 113 words of my sekrit projekt, which I am tempted to name but won't because I feel like being stubborn about it. It is exciting again, which is good because I was experiencing a lull for about a week there and wondering if I should drop it. I still do not know if I will be able to maintain the necessary pace for it, but I certainly am going to try.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meterZokutou word meter
595 / 9,300

    Still have not managed to meet my daily target once yet. Right now I am averaging about half of it. We shall see how that goes - my plan to focus on the monthly target as more important and treat the daily goals as averages to aim for but not fuss over seems to be working, as I am less anxious now about not writing enough words each day.
    So long as I manage in the end, that will be okay. And if I do not make it this month, I will set myself the same target next month, and again until I can. No more getting disheartened and dropping out for months at a time; so long as I am writing I am writing, target met or not.

    Word count is not always the best measure of progress anyway. Often I find the best way to improve a scene is to take out as many words as I can.
aesmael: (tricicat)
I feel confident about my results - not used to this feeling.

Before the examination I yawned. There was laughter. One person said it sounded like a girl sound. I was not offended.

Edit: One of the top results for a search we had to conduct was a book written by my astronomy lecturer. Not the one we were after, though.
aesmael: (Electric Waves)
    Since the election is coming up so quickly now (no faster than ever before, and as we approach summer, slower, in fact, in truth [though not significantly]), I will concentrate first on those parties running candidates in the electorate where I will be voting, in reverse order of my current opinion of them. Afterward, I mean to finish with any parties I may have missed.
    Therefore, our next target: Christian Democratic Party.

    Their policies page. I covered them only briefly once before. This time I will focus on their federal policies. It is just the one long page, so no need for frequent linking this time.

Follow behind the cut! )
    And that is it. The rest details their positions for the 2004 campaign.

    In summary, this is the party which means to establish Christian primacy in Australia by
  • Disallowing Muslim immigration for a decade
  • Placing chaplains in all schools
  • Smearing the good name of gay men and lesbians by associating them with child abuse
  • Continue to block same-gender marriage
  • Encourage children to believe it is wrong and dangerous to be anything but heterosexual
  • End safe sex education
  • Ban abortion
  • Enforce the Sabbath
  • Ban pornography
  • Filter the internet
  • Repeal anti-discrimination laws
  • I'm sure I missed something
    I advise that no one vote for this party, and hope they break up soon.
aesmael: (Electric Waves)
    I have been remiss in following through on my stated intentions. Well, the actual elections are in a little less than a week and it is a busy week for me. I will cover as many as I can. Time to finish looking at the Family First policies I missed last time.
Warning: Contents Hazardous to Families )
aesmael: (tricicat)
    I have been enjoying, lately, being able to drive my sisters places. It is fun, pleasant to be helpful, and gives us more opportunities to talk.
    Today was a day such as it seems we have not had in too long. Midday heat turned to afternoon storm. It rained, not heavily, and lightning arced across the sky like violet rainbows.

    The last writing I did (almost) was the transcribing of 255 words for Spare Parts on the 12th. I have decided to take a necessary slowing down partly because I was quite possibly burning myself out pushing for so many words so quickly and also because this is November, the month in which the school year is ending and every assignment is due right alongside exam season.
    Although (apart from electromagnetism) what I am studying is not difficult, it does take time. Next week there is on Tuesday a test followed by a practice test. On Wednesday, another test followed by a mock job interview. Thursday I do not know about. We are starting a new class.
    And there is that assignment due tomorrow.

    I want to play computer games. *sad face*

    And I still want to write. It is still a matter of prioritising my stories so that significant progress is made, rather than flinging out a dozen words to each of a dozen stories. Probably, I need to push past the part of my brain that says "This is hard now, switch over to something else".
aesmael: (haircut)
    I have decided I ought not read LiveJournal or any other material available via the internet until I have done relevant, school-related study for the day. Ideally this will mean fewer comments from me until I have an opportunity to catch, although I already failed today. Probably fewer posts too. If I follow through on my intention. Days are too short.

Writing stuff )

    *raises glass* To burning one's brain out.
aesmael: (sudden sailor)
    It turns out installing Doom 3 on the desktop and playing it in between study was a good productivity choice. I made more progress on my learning wiki than I have in a fair while (although rather less so in the game). Now it is getting late and soon time for sleep. I may have lots more to do but I am pleased to be making better progress than I have been.

    If anyone spots an error or unclear phrasing while checking that link, I suppose it would help me for you to point it out so I can fix it. I will be examined on my knowledge of this after all.
aesmael: (sudden sailor)
    Not much to say going on right now. On Thursday there was a test on our ability to cover books. We were to cover one softcover and one hardcover in a total of twenty minutes. The softcover I used was my copy of Coraline. It took me about fifteen minutes and in my nervous hurry I made some jagged and bubbly mistakes. It looks fine if you do not look too close. The hardcover was my copy of Diamond Dogs/Turquoise Days, the one signed by the author. It only took five minutes and came out well enough.
    I did pass the test, although not especially well. The teacher told me after class that if I perform perfectly on the shelving test next Thursday I will still receive an 'A'. This hopefully will not be too tricky, although there is the small inconvenience of a simultaneous test on my knowledge of electromagnetics some 20km distant.

    That is all for now... they are listening.
aesmael: (writing things down)
    Today I got to cover a hard-cover (Reader's Digest, Great Short Tales of Mystery and Terror) plus dust jacket. I also discovered that the teacher for that class did not enjoy Perdido Street Station, which I have yet to read. She did have a copy of Stephenson's The Diamond Age on top of her handbag. I have not read that either.

    In a day of little note you get trivialities or, perhaps better, nothing at all.

    Last night's writing counted 422 words to cap an amount of study that was insufficient. Today's best was continued work on Uncountable. Currently it is stopped in the act of metapoetry (I make no claims to quality, only to what I see it as).
    Project Ambidexterity is proceeding well too. I am writing Uncountable right-handed and it is still slower than my usual script but also neater (I attribute this to the care I need to take to form letters at all). I noticed today right-handed it is easier to form letters the way I was taught in primary school. I have never found it to be so left-handed and I wonder if anyone reading this has something relevant to add.

Of Targets and Totals
    Like [ profile] whimsical_esper, I feel August has been mostly lacking writing. I do not know if I have sufficient momentum to manage three hundred daily words next month; I believe I will aim for them and accept two hundred instead if that is what happens.
    The idea is not specifically to build quotas. It is to build project momentum and a habit of producing. This must not be forgotten.
    I am not, for that reason, entirely satisfied with the system I have now. It encourages the pouring out of new words, even poor ones, over the refinement of existing content. Until I find a better system or decide I am better off with none, it stays.

This heap of paragraphs was brought to you by the letter 3.
aesmael: (friendly)
    Yesterday we successfully penetrated the State Library. If you want facts and figures, the collection holds ~five million items over eleven floors in two buildings, most of it underground (they can't go any lower because of the train line running underneath), and it is valued at ~1.9 billion dollars. Probably Australian.
    That's what happens when the law requires deposit of a copy of everything published in the state. More impressive was actually seeing a small part of the stack - pervaded by the smell of books - and a few of the forty thousand volumes donated by David Scott Mitchell at the turn of the twentieth century. I don't know the age of the volumes we saw but much of his collection had already spent longer out in the world than it has since passed in the library.

    This morning, a counter strike knocked out a gas line at the TAFE where I am studying, forcing us to evacuate before classes could be started.
aesmael: (Electric Waves)
    Currently engaged in attempted coursework (sounds so much more sophisticated and adult than 'homework', doncha think?). Consequent ramping up/down of brain effort always spins off a number of tangents (#reference, tag, mark), therefore expect potential short term increase in posting.
    Those who read newest to oldest, disregard.

    Last night held 467 words before sleep claimed me. I ought to start writing before midnight in future.

    Today - yesterday, since before I began typing - marked the end of one class, except the one part of it I am not working on at this very moment. It was a relatively simple and very generously marked role-play exercise in which we each pretended to be a Library Technician dealing with difficult customer situations. I got to rant about the satanic influence of Harry Potter and also to misplace a patron's musicology conference proceedings. Oh, what fun to fit in the space of half an hour!

    There was also some activity on the secret project front, which will likely not be resolved or printed here until late November. Start counting.



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